Nothing that you've expressed can be considered outlandish, but it can easily be seen as presumptuous.
The attainment of enlightenment is an arduous process that very few people accomplish (Assuming anyone does. I've certainly never met anyone who I thought has
) even after a lifetime of traveling that path. Most people don't spend a great deal of time walking the path, let alone their entire lives. Setting that state of mind as the standard against which all efforts people make to resolve turmoil in their lives are measured is, in my mind, only of value in terms of philosophical musings.
The process of which I have written is by no means a perfect technique for achieving closure
, let alone Enlightenment, and I'm sure that if improperly applied it could create a roadblock on that path, however, the goal of the process is closure
, and being able to achieve some sense of closure as respects certain troubling issues in your life seems to me to be a necessary skill to learn if Enlightenment is ever to be achieved. So while pursuing closure
is not the pursuit of Enlightenment
, I don't believe it will necessarily hinder the latter.
My definition of closure is a space a person arrives at where they can effectively let go of the negative emotions generated by a given person, incident or situation, so that those emotions don't sap the energy needed to focus on and obtain positive outcomes in their life. To be effective it doesn't require achieving a state of Enlightenment nor even a complete and total elimination of the negative emotions that have been generated by the original source. A person can obtain satisfactory closure and still be revisited by bad memories and negative emotions from time to time, but that is a vastly different situation that being obsessed by their cause and allowing them to direct the person's life.
"Telling a person off" was not a term to be taken so literally. As I've explained, it need not, at all, be an aggressive, confrontational rant, nor a tearful, emotional outburst (although both of those can be effective). What's necessary is to have the opportunity to convey to the person you believe has wronged you, what they did, how it affected you, and how you intend to move forward in regards to it (this could range from never seeing or speaking to the person again to telling them that you forgive them and inviting them to participate in a "new" relationship with you).
The bottom line is that after whatever process you choose to implement is concluded, if you have achieved your goal of letting go of negative emotions and being able to focus on positive ones and positive outcomes, then you have achieved closure
, regardless of the fact that it probably isn't going to come to you in an Enlightenment package, and it doesn't mean a damn if it doesn't fit someone else's definition of closure
or they think it is an imperfect result.
This is not a matter of people fooling themselves or believing what they want to believe. If they dispel the negativity to an extent that they can move forward; focused on the positive (or even the negativity generated by a different
person or situation) they will have, for all intents and purposes, effectively, and genuinely, closed the book on one distressing chapter of their lives. Anyone who would counsel them that they are wrong to trust what they are feeling and offer that the positive effects they are experiencing are illusory, would be an entirely presumptuous ass and not worth attending to.
I have seen this process work and I have personally experienced it work. Of course it's not a guaranteed effective process, but which ones are? There is a risk that you could somehow make matters worse, but if you are consumed by negative emotions that are preventing you from moving forward with your life in a positive way, how can matters get much worse? Getting thrown in jail or inciting someone to kill you? Anyone who truly risks such outcomes has not at all grasped the concept as it is intended to work and has emotional and mental problems that go well beyond the effects of one person or experience.
I recognize that the term "closure" has developed a New Age, pop psychology connotation and is often used to describe an amorphous state of mind that may be impossible to achieve if it even could be defined. Too many people who whine about their need for closure
really mean they need
to either change history or get their way, but this, of course, doesn't render the concept void of any meaning or undermine a process that can achieve what is a desirable state of mind that can be rationally associated with the term.
Regardless, if you wish to travel along a path to Enlightenment, you won't get very far if you remain blocked by the negative emotions and energy created by one person or one incident. If you incur a karmic debt in obtaining closure
, at least you will be free to figure out how to work it off.