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Sun 14 Nov, 2004 01:37 am
I look back now on younger days.
When I stood no more than four foot high.
And I laugh,
at the dumber things,
the funner things,
and the games we played.
An what silly games we played aah but the fun we had.
We would ride bikes,
make mud pies,
and spend all day playing in the rain.
Such happy days they were but that was long before we learned,
what hate was,
what heartache feels like,
and that some pain never goes away.
We had no worries back then and no real pain.I would happily go back
to the days i stood no more than four foot high.Because those were,
my happy days,
no worry days,
and long before all this pain.
But I know I can never go back to those days.They're just a memory now of days gone by.....
The days of fluffy bunnies and rainbows. <smile>
mudd-mud
their- they're (they are)
an-and.
"...spend all day playing in the rain..." is a graphic line, Vex.
You get better every day. Keep it up!
Ditto what Letty said, Vex.
More good material Vex. An awakening to adulthood.
I am working with a grandson on this very thing. I will read to him your poetry.
i think i fixed most of the miss spelling now
(maybe one day i wont have any errors on spelling)
i reread this now and i truely do like it
"The days of fluffy bunnies and rainbows."
well everything i write can't be somber <smile>
but i can't do fluffy stuff it just doesnt feel "right" to me
"An awakening to adulthood"
i love the way you put that
an thank ya'll
When you were taller than your years,
you still had hopes and fears.
Will you listen when they tell you
this day was once a day gone by,
filled with opportunity unrealized?
Our memories tell a twisted tale
of greener grass and billowing sails.
From days gone by, don't listen to
your memories, they lie...
Memories do lie....Nice stuh!
when I lay thee down to die
may thy thoughts be those of pride
not those of pain nor needless fears
may thy eyes shed only happy tears
when i lay thee down to sleep
may thee find eternal peace
as angels sing of holy grace
may thy soul finaly rest as
thy body breathes the last breath...
I think you mean "thee" [archaic you]
also don't get it confused with thy [archaic your] which you did once. thy is also synonymous with thine.
This theme prompted me to re-contribute...
The Wood and the Trees
Walk with me along this childhood path.
Once thoughts were budding here like Spring's array
That fir, as sapling knew my breath
And bent to the grasp of random play.
Here was the stream where Summer's heat
Trickled to cool beneath the tree
And stark stones sharp beneath my feet
Stippled the flow of eternity.
That which was supple, time binds firm
And that which was wide, to stricture grows.
Each junction of life invites our turn
But closes behind mind's dark hedgerows.
Youth's smiles and tears may betoken nought
Until life's path has its values wrought.
Fresco, I had almost forgotten about your ability to compress philosophy into poetry. Your use of alliteration was absolutely perfect, and the verb "stippled" so different and fresh.
But lets not forget that truth is subjective.
Vex, you have some excellent folks here that are wonderful models. You can read without sacrificing one bit of your own creativity.
The observations of our fellow poets here pretty much cover all I would say. I would only encourage you to continue with your progress!