How Long Can You Make My Thread Get?

Send her ass to the liquor store and make her apologize profusely.

Naah, get her on A2K. We'll straighten her out. I have some great advice involving a plunger and some vaseline that I've been just dying to give to someone.

Don't you get tired of toting that plunger around town with you?

It's okay, I keep it in a place where I don't even have to hold onto it.

Well...technically I guess I have to hold onto it, but not with my hands...

ohhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooo

Volare





It's one of my danger songs. I took driving lessons in a Volare. Damn song ran through my head through every class. And nowwwwwwwwwww


Volaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare ...woooaaah ooooaah! Cantaaaaare...woawoawoa oah!

Lada, lada da da DA! Dedee, dedee, de de DE!

VOOOOOOOOOLAAARE! WOAAAH OOAAH!



I know that I'm having a great visual of kix dancing with his big shiny one.

Oh MY God! I used to DRIVE a Volare! I believe it was a 1978 Volare. It was the coolest! It was green. Ugly green. And it had an eight-track deck. Heehee...I loved that f*cking piece of ****!

<Kickin' up my heels, big shiny one flapping in the breeze>

Oh MY gawd!

Did the green Volare smell of pipe tobacco?




can ya sing it like this, kix?

Penso che un sogno cosi non ritorni mai piu
Mi dipingevo le mani e la faccia di blu
Poi d�improvviso venivo dal vento rapito
E incominciavo a volare nel cielo infinito

Volare, oh oh, e contare, oh oh oh oh
Nel blu, dipinto di blu, felice di stare lassu
E volavo, volavo felice piu in alto del sole ed ancora piu su
Mentre il mondo pian piano spariva lontano laggiu
Una musica dolce suonava soltanto per m

I had the twin to this car below. Same color, but mine was a sedan, not a wagon. I defy anyone to point out an auto that is a better bitch magnet than this. And the color was impossible to describe, best I could do was it looked like the outside of a cantaloupe.

Oh, 1979 Ford Fairmont. Money. 4-cyl, top speed was a scorching 80mph.

****, my green old man Volare would chirp from a dead stop. It'd blow that thing away. That Mopar engine was badass...

champagne is the nice way to put it. though it has nothing to do with champagne.

<kris, who is this friend of a friend? do i know? now i'm curious>

I had a '79 Omni. Held together with duct tape (I carried a roll of it under the driver's seat) and silver automotive rust paint.

The dream machine.

Oh yeahhhhhhhhh.

Heehee...my first car was a 1974 Hornet...painted red by my dad and my brother...they used a freakin' paint ROLLER to do it. That thing was also held together by duct tape...but the Volare was definitely my favorite.

I had two eight-tracks...John Denver and J. Geils Band. So, while I was "racing" some chump, the loser could hear "Take me Hooooooome....Country rooooooaaads..." as I blew past.

What a riot.

Kicky, most bicycles would kick my Fairmont's ass from a stop. But my next car was a 1983 Trans Am, 5-speed, 5 liter V8. Doors looked like they got hit with acid pellets, nice rust spots. I could chirp it going into third gear, but that's mostly because I had snow tires on it(year round), and the car was geared so low top speed in 3rd was only around 50-55mph. (In comparison my last BMW would hit upwards of 80).

I've had some great white trash cars.

My "best" driving 8-track was by a very minor group called Humphrey and the Dumptrucks. I suspect not even djjd has heard of them.

They were loud.

My buddy had a black '83 firebird. He almost killed us once trying to be cool and flying around a corner on a wet day. It's amazing I've made it to this ripe old age with the friends I had.

I had a blue '83 camaro for awhile. Some ******* bubblehead girl that I was "in love with" crashed it. I could have strangled that pinhead.

I used to go "barrell smashing" with my Fairmont. On trash days, driving home from high school with friends, whenever I'd see an empty plastic trash can left in the street I'd speed up as fast as possible and just wail the thing.

Then in the winter, I'd put the car sideways into snowbanks. The fun of RWD in snow.

When I got the car, it was the stereotypical old ladies car: not a scratch, super low miles. After a year, that thing had more dents, front bumper pushed up, it was so fun having a car you could just destroy.

Nevah hoid of 'em.

Man, I'm really happy about my decision to have some wine tonight.

<still dancing around with the big shiny one>

Funny how things change. Back in the 80's the only thing cooler than a Firebird, Camaro or Mustang was a Corvette. Now anyone that drives a Firebird or Camaro is white trash, and the only people that drive Vettes are retired people who can afford them.

Oh, and I find it amazing I never crashed the Trans Am. I beat the ever-living piss out of that car. Slightly lost control of it ONCE, but the car snapped back. I think I just realized it handled like crap, so didn't corner it too hard.