Gus, were you the one who walked into the tree while you were looking over your shoulder? I wish you would have come to say hello.
Seriously though, I'm emailing with friends trying to figure out what's wrong with me - men aren't exactly hunting me down.
littlek wrote:Seriously though, I'm emailing with friends trying to figure out what's wrong with me - men aren't exactly hunting me down.
Why did that statement cause my heart to grow heavy? I reached down and petted my cat and said, "littlek is hurting, Wench.... she's hurting bad."
The cat mewed, then flicked his tail and raced from the room.
Should I expect your cat to hunt me down?
PART II: The Long-Awaited Meeting of Kicky and Littlek
Within minutes I was at a small apartment building somewhere around Harvard Square. I found the apartment number that Bertrand had written on the piece of paper and knocked loudly, too excited (and drunk) to care that it was 2:30 AM and people were probably sleeping. Nobody answered at first, so I banged on the door even harder, and began shouting, "LITTLEK!!! IT'S ME, KICKYCAN...YOUR ONE TRUE LOVERMAN!!!"
After about ten minutes, the door finally opened, and the woman of my dreams stood there before me, half asleep and sexy as could be in her pink bunny pajamas. "Kicky? I didn't think you were really coming...I'm so sorry I didn't come to the station...how did you find my apartment?"
"Shhhh...," I began, as I gently placed a finger over her lips, "I'll tell you all about it--" but before I could finish, our eyes met, and in a fiery moment that caught us both off-guard, our passion took control and we were all over each other like two teenagers in the backseat of dad's Buick on Prom night.
She took my hand and led me into the bedroom. She slipped out of her pajamas. I took off my clothes and she watched me, smiling seductively. I finally stood naked before her. "Hmmm..." she said, staring hungrily at my stiff protruding member. "Damn, Kicky, what a beautifully tumescent love pole you have."
She laid down on the bed, legs apart, and I positioned myself above her. She looked up at me, and then down again at the full length of my giant trunk-like member as it bobbed slightly with anticipation. She looked me in the eyes and whispered, "I want you now, you sexy tumescent bastard."
But suddenly I felt something heavy brush by my shoulder. "What the--", I looked up and was shocked to see a large flying monkey hovering above my head. I looked back down at littlek, who was shaking her head "Oh crap, not again," she said as I watched four more flying monkeys materialize in front of my eyes.
"We are the guardians of littlek, and we deem you unfit, Kickycan. You have not kept your balls shaved like you should. Our littlek cannot be with you."
Littlek begged them, "No, really, I don't even like shaved balls, I swear! Don't do this! I like Kicky!"
The monkeys swept down and grabbed me. They lifted me up and flew towards the window. I heard littlek pleading. "No! Please don't take him! I like him! In fact...", and as they flew me out the window into the cold night air I heard littlek yell..."I love him!"
Those words stung me like a hot arrow in the gut. Finally, I had found the perfect woman and fallen in love with her, only to be forcibly taken away by her overprotective flying monkey guardian angels. I seem to have blacked out at that point, only to awake at home in my own bed, still clutching the crumpled piece of paper that Bertrand had given me with littlek's address on it.
One day, littlek, I will return. After the flying monkeys have forgotten all about me, I'll be there...and this time I will have my area shaved smoother than the skin of a grape. One day, I promise you, our love will be consummated!
You did it!
Is there a part III?
Part III will have to wait until April, when you get to New York. It's called "Littlek Comes to the Big Apple to Get Some"
And don't bring those damn flying monkeys!!!
I would like the name of the turpentine you drank the night of your adventure.
Once I know it I shall decide whether it is better to avoid it or have some myself.
Joe( Was that the flutter of wings?) Nation
Hello, I am just here to make the thread longer... interesting story kicky, I enjoyed reading it... it made me laugh...
The part with the flying monkeys scared the hell out of me.
Poor Kicky. Can you imagine how frightened he must have been when the monkeys carried him off into the night skies? To be whisked over the Boston skyline with the chattering monkeys screaming in your ears and theri massive wings beating against the side of your face... man, that would be hard to take.
I'm just glad the Kickster got out of there alive.
You can imagine the look on my face, when hanging out with Littlek, I responded to something she told me with "Cha! That'll happen...the day monkeys fly out of your butt."
There they were. Except I thought I killed them all with my slingshot and frozen grapes.
So Kicky, you didn't come to Boston, you just researched the bus stop names?
Slappy, Kicky turned down my suggestion to find a fiftycent crack whore.
Surely you wouldn't turn down such an opportunity?
Gus, would you kindly loan me fifty cents?
He could have easily found some near South Station in Chinatown...the fat toothless crackwhores hobbling up and down the streets at night wearing lingere is a sight to behold.
Did they look like this kicky? They even left you an autographed picture
What a nightmare!
Let's see, if I take the bus to South Station that will leave me with 1.75. I'll loan Slappy fifty cents, leaving myself with 1.25. That's enough to be fellated by two different crack whores and still have .25 left over for a back rub.
On my way, Slappy.
Sure, you can all laugh about it, but it is NOT fun when a half dozen flying monkeys fly out of my ass. I sh1t feathers for weeks when that happens.
Littlek, that's so hot.
Any hotmail users here? Hotmail absolutely SUCKS the last week. I can barely send emails. I wish I could punch someone in the stomach right now.
Ohhhh, such a sweet, torrid, heartbreaking romance!
I want a fairytale ending, damnit. Not flying monkey's anymore!!
