Okay. Then I will look forward to hearing more about Douglas at a later date. For now,
((((((((((HUG)))))))))))
Noddy, that is so sad. I'm very sorry. I will think of you on my Christmas day. Hugs to you.
Noddy, my heart goes out to you and I cannot say any more about why I dont like the holidays without wiping away similar tears of grief. The forced jolly spirit of the Chritmas season stands in stark contrast to the way we all carry our sorrows . I put on a forced smile, and try to keep busy and share special moments with the family until , along comes December 26 and I begin to look forward to the new year. My wife understands and , at that time of year becomes a sympathetic enabler. Shes conctantly making excuses for my mean temper , and we rarely go to parties except when I can keep busy cooking and playing the host.
Its a dark part of the year that lasts from early December through December 26 for me. I find that , writing many of my thoughts on these boards , as I did on abuzz, allowed me to vent or just be a little depressed with sympatica folks, even though we hardly know each other. Thats why I take many assignments in the field in December cause Im not really good company.
I'll not say anymore about Christmas. My peeves seem so....petty, in contrast to Farmer and Noddy.
So many posts! I've really enjoyed reading them all this morning & getting to know more about all of you. A pleasure!
A few of thoughts:
I have always loved the idea of Thanksgiving. What a wonderful concept! A day to focus on the good in your life & be thankful for it. I could go with that!
Margo, Deb & the mangos
I've always felt that it's extremely tragic that Santa doesn't have appropriate clothing for a SUMMER Christmas! Poor guy, with that heavy red suit, squeezing his bulky frame up & down chimneys in the hot Oz summer! Now that's what I call devotion to duty!
Don't you think it's time were got him an outfit appropriate for the climate?
cav
A Ukrainian Christmas!
Maybe I should celebrate that one instead?
Maybe (fellow Ukrainian), farmerman could join me? :wink:
farmerman
You must have been typing as I was typing. Please don't think I was being frivolous after your very moving post.
Swimpy wrote:Olga ~ {hugs} Christmas brings me much sadness as well. Both my father and my sister died on Christmas Eve, 25 years apart. I had strained relationships with them both. Something I tried my best to rectify while they were living, but was not totally successful. I can't help but feel more melancholy than merry this time of year.
And hugs to you, swimpy. Melancholy indeed.
I miss my father a lot at Christmas, too. <sigh>
my youngest cub is a Christmas baby....that's good......that's all though...
panzade wrote:I'll not say anymore about Christmas. My peeves seem so....petty, in contrast to Farmer and Noddy.
Panzade
I can understand you feeling this way, but what I'm finding very engrossing about this thread is that we are saying all sorts of things here: from the profound & deeply moving, to sharing personal experiences & thoughts, comparing cultures & religions, being funny, frivolous & ridiculous .... I was thinking, as I read these posts this morning: what an amazing place is A2K! We are so diverse, yet we have much in common, too. Personally, I'm learning so much more about A2K folk as a result of of their words here. Sometimes I laugh, other times I could almost cry. It really astonishes me how we trust each other enough to know that our words will be taken in the spirit in which they were intended. I feel very fortunate to be here!
Piffka wrote:Well, the worst of my relatives are gone, but even when around, I did't let them spoil my fun, Olga. Can you just imagine the difficult ones doing silly things? Or can you avoid spending much time with them? The alternative, of course, is to drink a bit more than usual or have a bigger party.
Piff
I grit my teeth, gird my loins & get through it as best I ca. Mind you, it's getting easier, as I get older & wiser :wink: . Now I don't feel totally responsible for the obvious dysfunction like I used to! That's certainly a blessing!
Good attitide, Piff: Don't let them spoil your fun!
Msolga--
Thank you.
Farmerman--
Melancholy can't be conquered, but over time I'm learning to carry it more gracefully. Bittersweet memories can still be treasured memories.
Still on the light side, but not all so light, I remember my family (which has been, for decades, my two female cousins, who I got to be friends with sort of by accident, years after our parents fought the good irish silence battle) dealing with the alcoholic aunt.
This is a wee bit too close to home, as I am now "the aunt" and I like my booze. But I have not been in her league, as yet.
The aunt, sister of my cousins' mother, was bright and sassy and a strong character, as was my cousins' mother - who I have talked about on a2k as my 100 yr old aunt, further confusing relativity.
Cousins' mother (who married my mother's brother, should anyone be interested) was, despite her encompassing charm for me, quite a trial to her daughters. For one thing, she was very controlling. Not just when they were children or teens, but well into advanced age of all parties. And her sister, the alcoholic aunt in the paragraph above, was, er, more freely hinged.
I love both of them, in memory, even did at the time, but memory enhances, and they each had great stories to tell. For example, the Aunt, in today's post, was a familiar of the famous madame of San Francisco, Sally something. What those sisters had in common was the ability to hold a room with stories.
So part of the good memories of Christmas was the presence of them both, one needing a drink on entering, the other making the room hush to hear her story. The dynamics register to me years later......
Christmas has always been a time of ghosts and stories of ghosts--a tradition dating back much earlier than Charles Dickens.
Quote:I can understand you feeling this way, but what I'm finding very engrossing about this thread is that we are saying all sorts of things here: from the profound & deeply moving, to sharing personal experiences & thoughts, comparing cultures & religions, being funny, frivolous & ridiculous .... I was thinking, as I read these posts this morning: what an amazing place is A2K! We are so diverse, yet we have much in common, too. Personally, I'm learning so much more about A2K folk as a result of of their words here. Sometimes I laugh, other times I could almost cry. It really astonishes me how we trust each other enough to know that our words will be taken in the spirit in which they were intended. I feel very fortunate to be here!
msolga, I feel exactly the same way. Letty shared some comments with me in DebraLaws thread about the Scott Peterson conviction that moved me to tears. And it had nothing to do with the conviction, but her warmhearted, embracing and truly caring words that moved me so. I feel very comforted to know that there are such incredible people in this community, this family. Aside from my own blood family, I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. And you all are it......
Snuffling, lady j, I am glad you are here too.
ossobuco wrote:Still on the light side, but not all so light, I remember my family (which has been, for decades, my two female cousins, who I got to be friends with sort of by accident, years after our parents fought the good irish silence battle) dealing with the alcoholic aunt.
This is a wee bit too close to home, as I am now "the aunt" and I like my booze. But I have not been in her league, as yet.
The aunt, sister of my cousins' mother, was bright and sassy and a strong character, as was my cousins' mother - who I have talked about on a2k as my 100 yr old aunt, further confusing relativity.
Cousins' mother (who married my mother's brother, should anyone be interested) was, despite her encompassing charm for me, quite a trial to her daughters. For one thing, she was very controlling. Not just when they were children or teens, but well into advanced age of all parties. And her sister, the alcoholic aunt in the paragraph above, was, er, more freely hinged.
I love both of them, in memory, even did at the time, but memory enhances, and they each had great stories to tell. For example, the Aunt, in today's post, was a familiar of the famous madame of San Francisco, Sally something. What those sisters had in common was the ability to hold a room with stories.
So part of the good memories of Christmas was the presence of them both, one needing a drink on entering, the other making the room hush to hear her story. The dynamics register to me years later......
That actually sounds like a great memory, osso....from a childs eyes to an adult perception, you kept it all in such a fond context for yourself.
ossobuco wrote:Snuffling, lady j, I am glad you are here too.
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) to you, osso!
And, I wasn't so young. My Larger Family, small though it was, fought when I was a teen. I met my cousin at the bookstore at UCLA on one of my first days on campus, after our parents had slammed various phones down on each other years before and a knelling silence rolled in.
We were pretty pleased to see each other, and so we stayed in touch. Her younger sister is also a long time friend. They are different from each other but care on good days, having fought multiple battles to a standstill.
Generations mirroring.
In all honesty though, doesn't EVERY family have some dysfunction to it, even if it is minor compared to some? There are no Cleavers or Nelsons or Father Knows Best families in real life. And if there were, wouldn't that be soooo awfully boring?
