DRINKING Quotes

Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet. ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I'm not so think as you drunk I am. ~ John Squire

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts. ~ Finley Peter Dunne

I only drink to make other people seem more interesting. ~ George Jean Nathan

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. ~ Bernard Shaw

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. ~ William Butler Yeats

You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline -- it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER. ~ Frank Zappa

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. - George Burns

The best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk. ~ Alben W. Barkley

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes. ~ W. C. Fields

Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure. ~ Ernest Hemingway

I drink to forget I drink. ~ Joe E. Lewis

vinum

I drink to make other people interesting.
-- George Jean Nathan

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness -- or so good as drink.
-- G. K. Chesterton

People who insist on drinking before driving are putting the quart before the hearse.
-- Laurence J. Peter

What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?
-- W. C. Fields

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake -- which I also keep handy.
-- W. C. Fields

LOL!

Qui bibit dormit. Qui dormit non peccat. Qui non peccat sanctus est. Ergo qui bibit sanctus est. QED

[Mediaeval]

Vivere est bibere

[Mediaeval, probably Spanish for wordplay pronunciation reasons]

'How much has he drunk?'
'Nothing'
'Maybe that's the problem'

[two friends talking about me]

Alcohol is your enemy. Pole doesn't fear the enemy!

[national]

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

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BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
~ "Unknown"


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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and hea! lth of t he whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

"I got more out of drink than drink ever took out of me"
Winston Churchill

Marge send the kids to the neighbors. I'm coming home loaded.

Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems.

I'd rather have a beer
Than win 'Father of the Year'

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.

Beer! How did you know?

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.


The college road trip. What better way to spread beer-fueled mayhem.

You must love this country more than I love a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.

Alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.

Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.

Ah beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel if you will.

Homer Simpson

"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid." Richard Braunstein

"In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to drink beer." Dave Barry

"Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth." Steve Allen

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools." Ernest Hemmingway

"If your doctor warns that you have to watch your drinking, find a bar with a mirror." John Mooney

"I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver." Phil Harris

"Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink." Unknown

"Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say, "I'm thirsty, not dirty". Joe Lewis

"I told the stewardess liquor for three." - "Who are the other two? - "Oh, there are no other two."
Sean Connery (as James Bond)

Five good reasons for drinking:

Good wine,
a friend.
or feeling dry,
or lest you should be by and by,
or any other reason why.
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The Irish only drink to forget they're alcoholics.
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Here's to you and here's to me,
and may we never disagree.
But if we do,
to hell with you.
Here's to me.
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Damn, I'm getting tired of being the middle man. c.i.

" I drink it (champagne) when I'm happy & when I'm sad. Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone. When I have company, I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I'm not hungry & drink it when I am. Otherwise, I never touch it unless I'm thirsty." .. Lily Bollinger

"My only regret in life is that I did not drink more Champagne" ...John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946)




hmmm.... j'adore bollinger

The lady said to Churchill, "You're drunk, my dear sir." And Churchill responded, "Yes, but you're ugly, and I'll be sober in the morning."

AmJagTech - welcome to AK2. You may consider moving your PC camera a little bit further back.

Daddy has a Harbor Seal
It's a thinker, not a do-er
And they visit the distillery
It's a drinker, not a brewer.

Daddy has a Harbor Seal
That Seal is so uncouth
When it mixes Daddy's cocktail
It adds too much vermouth.

Daddy has a Harbor Seal
I know what you must be thinking
But he isn't like that all the time
Just when he's been drinking.