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Fri 29 Oct, 2004 02:51 pm
as I look back upon my old poems, sometimes I surprise myself...what I originally thought was too short, not good enough, or too emotional to share...I see things in that I like now. so I might as well post some of them. they might sound familiar because I know I've posted a lot on this "subject" in the past...but I think these were all previously not posted...I apologize if any of them are repeated.
~ let your eyes wander ~
if you need to see the rest, go play
if you need to find yourself, run away
if that's the only way, don't stay
so let your eyes wander
I have work to do anyway
I know that in the end you'll see
the only one for you is me
~ long moment ~
the time is always now and never then
what a long moment my life has been
~ stir crazy ~
stir crazy of the brain, you make me go so ******* crazy
there's an emotion hidden between love and hate the world forgot
I know it exists because it's what I've got
I don't love you anymore, I don't hate you either
I need to talk to you so badly, there's so much I have to say
but you're never there, you always miss my messages and notes
I don't care about subtlety anymore, I've got to talk to you now
it's got to be my ******* way, you aren't going anywhere today
until I'm through with you
what makes you think you can act this way?
when did you decide to change?
what did I do to make you change?
what is it that you really think?
the words in edgewise make me think you aren't even thinking
like it's nothing more than moles and hills
and cheap thrills
I'm a cheap thrill and a worn out toy
your broken little plaything
that's not true, I'm a boy
I have feelings too, it seems I have them more than you
many times before been crushed
still I fall for these ******* traps
how I thought you were the one
now look what you have done to me
I do hurt and I do bleed
but you do neither
what do you want from me
I've got conviction, I've got compassion, I'm smarter than any of them
and artistic too. I've got everything a girl can want
and I love you
so what more could you possibly want?
what do you need?
why don't I do it for you?
would anyone? are you so cool
that you don't need anyone
because you can have them all whenever?
is your mind so shallow that all this means
nothing to you, that you can prance and dance through waters of emotion
without getting wet?
I couldn't let this be a fling
it was too real to be just a fling
your tone of voice is so conveniently innocent
I can't help but lose every carefully planned out word when you speak
~ my shell ~
you slapped me in the face with my own hand
crawling, crawling back to my shell
a blind man lost his glasses, don't know where they fell
you tricked me, the world tricked me
there is no heaven or hell
just this endless life, let it end
let me find the mystery in you again
with that one word, it all came crashing down
my love for you tumbled to the ground
without you, I have no emotion
I've got nothing but my shell
~ life ~
Never forget where you are
And who you are
Hold your head up high
Look over their heads
And you will see:
Birds buzzing bees
Soaring trees singing
Leaves falling bark
Dogging skin Peeling
People falling
Upside down In circles.
Never forget where you are
And who you are
Or you'll get lost in the sea
Keep your head on your shoulders
Roll the dice
And move
~ getting the emotions out ~
was I delusional before
or paranoid now? I don't know
but I have hung up that phone, and I don't think you'll be calling me back
I love you still; I must let this feeling pass
I don't want to be conscious.
I tried to sleep all day but failed.
I still love you,
but my love is hatred with a smile.
I wish I could let you know how much I love for you...
without wondering if I'm lowering myself in your eyes
Deep words stuh, I'm glad I got to read these, thanks for posting!
I really like the first, the second and the fifth -- they have staying power. I'm not so fond of poems of anguish, particularly when addressed to a lost love. Much better, imo, when writing poetry that tells of being hurt by love if you can be ironic, strong but tender, or victorious even in pain without showing anger or an implied threat. Still, I am impressed.
Piffka, have you read this one? It has so much meaning to me...
INNOCENCE EXPOSED
Look what they've done to you
Poor sobbing wretch
Miserable child with arms outstretched
Hug me, hug him, hug anyone
Touch as many people as you can
Cling to the love you will never understand
Who's so lonely, and always surrounded?
Your schemes scheme against yourself and
Your words are a jumble that attest to your own ignorance
You are the most innocent child of us all
Afraid of the world and how to be happy
Didn't need school, don't want real friends
Passively waiting for your dream to the end
Who runs naked with clothes on?
The raiment of intrigue discarded
Your secrets, our gossip
A bony carcass is all I see
Your mystery's gone and so are we
Wow! Extremely impressive! You should begin collecting these items for submission!
stuh505 wrote:Piffka, have you read this one? It has so much meaning to me...
INNOCENCE EXPOSED
Look what they've done to you
Poor sobbing wretch
Miserable child with arms outstretched
Hug me, hug him, hug anyone
Touch as many people as you can
Cling to the love you will never understand
Who's so lonely, and always surrounded?
Your schemes scheme against yourself and
Your words are a jumble that attest to your own ignorance
You are the most innocent child of us all
Afraid of the world and how to be happy
Didn't need school, don't want real friends
Passively waiting for your dream to the end
Who runs naked with clothes on?
The raiment of intrigue discarded
Your secrets, our gossip
A bony carcass is all I see
Your mystery's gone and so are we
Wow, Stuh! I'm impressed! No I haven't seen this but was the poorer for it. THAT's the kind of poem I like; you are speaking to the ex, but with strength and tenderness and irony. When a poem does that, it gives the reader something to think about beyond "poor fella, heartbroken."
This poem would be great at a slam. It cries out to be read aloud (as I found myself doing here in my office). Good on ya!
her only source of happiness was meeting guys and getting them to fall in love with her to make herself feel like she was worth something
she would toy with people, say one thing then do another, then cry about it and say she was sorry. i never knew what to think, her mind was not on the same level
her father was dead, and she never went to school...she wanted to be something, she wanted to be sophisticated...she tried...but it was all a facade...
she played games, like seduce one man, then seduce his best friend, to destroy their friendships...one by one, she took 6 of my best friends
she did care for some of us, but that didn't stop her from using us...she couldn't help herself...eventually she lost all her friends, started making amateur porno
im glad she fucked me over though, because it made me a better man
Men who allow themselves to be seduced by their best friend's girl must accept some of the blame. This person in question sounds like she's all screwed up, but that is what you're supposed to notice BEFORE you start a relationship.
Guess you know that now?
of course the friends except some of the blame...thats why they arent friends anymore.
this was the first girl i had ever kissed or had any kind of relationship with, so...i was easily manipulated i guess
If this is the first girl you ever kissed, etc., then it seems to me, a sign of continuing youth that none of you can get over it and regain these friendships. Why don't you write a poem to these ex-friends of yours?
Last night, I saw a film about young men who had reasons to be very angry with each other. It was called "
Buddy" - a recent Norwegian flick which means you have to deal with subtitles. Worth the trouble, you might like it. They had an ingenious way of dealing with their problems.
Quote:then it seems to me, a sign of continuing youth that none of you can get over it and regain these friendships. Why don't you write a poem to these ex-friends of yours?
you assume too much; I never did hold any grudges...it was they who felt too ashamed to come back. there is no longer any animosity, but we have gone our separate ways.
I am emotionally indifferent about the matter now...so any poem that I wrote would be empty.
Too bad, I think it would be interesting.
Sorry you think I am assuming too much, though that is what happens when other people read your poetry. They make assumptions about what you've written and what you say. I wasn't trying to be judgemental, just trying to understand the situation. Maybe I am being too influenced by the film last night. My apologies.
Don't worry about it, you haven't crossed any lines. It's just that this is all water under the bridge now. I'm sure we all have had bad experiences growing up that we wouldn't take back, because they shaped us.
Re: stress relief through poetry
i need help with this question about a poem
What form does the poem take?
I am a tree
like you i breath
I reproduce
I too need the warmth of the sun,
The wetness of the rain
The space to grow
One difference between us two
Is that
you need me
more than i need you
heh, that poem has a little snap to it
you meant to post this on a new thread, didn't you?
anyway...I don't know anything about poetic forms so
I can't help you...
Poetry, (nice handle) Your poem which is lovely, is called a direct metaphor. I'm not certain what you mean by form. Welcome to A2K, and the original writing forum.
Stuh, as always, your poetry evokes sadness and indecision, underscored by strength in the face of adversity. Yes, my young friend, writing is the way that we expunge the past and cry for the future.
Beautiful words stuhÂ…when you write from the heart, you are guaranteed that it will always touch someone
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