Reply
Thu 28 Oct, 2004 09:03 pm
never straying far
With the rising of the sun
It catches up with me
As the sun sets
it walks away
yet its always there
beside me
nice, have you considered removing the first line?
now that you mention it, it does work better like that... i just want to thank you stuh, you always reply... makes me feel good..
hm...yes, but the flow is confusing the first time it is read..the first read through might be smoother if you try this
Never straying far--
with the rising of the sun,
it catches up with me.
This is a deceptively powerful poem, Seed. Most excellent and enjoyable.
why is it deceptively powerful Kelly?
It is small, but it packs the punch of a giant.
ah so i see... im glad you like it.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace