Sun 12 Feb, 2017 02:56 pm
I am finally out of this traumatic experience, I finally have my happiness and motivation back to me again, and I do not need any medication. But this packet is still important for you to be aware of in case there ever comes a time again where I have depression and lose my motivation, happiness, and inspiration again.
My feelings of happiness and enjoyment are my only source of joy, happiness, inspiration, motivation, and meaning in my life. They are the only experiences that make everything in my life worth living.
Therefore, it is imperative that I have them at all times. My life cannot be worth living without them. Such feelings are very fleeting for virtually everyone out there which makes it all the more imperative that I have them at all times.
If I live a life where I struggle with depression and anhedonia, then my life and composing is no longer worth living for, but I will choose to do all I can to get these good feelings of happiness, inspiration, enjoyment, etc. back to me nonetheless. I have a great composing talent that I plan on pursuing and dedicating my life to.
But me being happy and enjoying my life and composing is the only experience that would allow me to live my life and to live to compose since, again, my happiness and enjoyment is the only experience I have to make my life and my composing worth living for.
I have never, in my whole entire life, experienced any other form of joy, happiness, value, inspiration, and worth in my life. My good feelings were the only source of those things. I have no idea what any other form of joy, happiness, etc. would even be like for me. That is, if they even exist and aren't just labels.
But I really get the idea here that they are nothing but labels and aren't actual joy, happiness, inspiration, etc. It would be no different than a situation where you have an empty glass and you told yourself that you have water inside of it. The word "water" is nothing more than a label that will not give you actual water. You would only be fooling yourself to think there is actual water inside that glass.
Therefore, my good feelings are all I truly have in my life to make my life worth living. It is imperative that I have them all the time to make everything in my life worth living for since everything else is nothing but labels that won't give my life actual joy or anything and people who do struggle with depression and anhedonia are only fooling themselves to somehow think that their lives still have actual joy, inspiration, value, worth, etc.
'Joy' is much over-rated and sought after by drama queens and sensation addicts. Difficult to attain and tragic to lose. I'll settle for contentment.
Joy and happiness only exist when you've had adversity or lesser moments. If all you have are happy times, they eventually will become staid and stale. This is not to say you need to be depressed, just be willing to have some less divine moments.
Moz where are you, we need you