Despair

Very lyric! I especially like the phrase "the form/Is parabolic in isolation."

Kelly, The silver horses caught my attention...and is the woman whose hair you brush aside, a direct metaphor for pain and despair?

".....I'll vet the consequences....."

Hmmmm. Just discovered that you are an army officer. Does this have anything to do with your prolific creations?

I think the esoterica of your poetry is what makes me read again and again.

Thanks Cav!

Letty, esoterica is such a good word! As far as being an officer and creating poetry, I really cannot make any direct correlation. My first two books were published before I joined this great Army many, many times-around-the-sun ago. Suffice it to say that our poetry is proximate to our experiences and observations, so indirectly, of course there is some accounting for my soldiering. And yes, the brushing of hair is a metaphor for pain, as you so ably observe! I shall have to send you my latest book, as well. Chock full of esoterica, it is :-) I owe them to Cav and Stuh, as well. Please forward me your mailing address via e-mail and I'll pop all three in the post this week!

er, Kelly. I don't have your email address. I do appreciate your offer, however.

With admiration,
From Letty

Kelly's e-mail is on his site, but I daren't post the link.

Oh, my word, Cav. No, don't post it. Now I understand.

I'll check with you later, Kelly.

You got it!

OK - it is tweaked!

The tweaks do enhance the internal rythym. Nice.

Kelly, much, MUCH smoother reading.

Thank you much! It is not common for me to rush poetry so that I feel adjustment is necessary, but... Letty made me do it :-)

So, Letty is the culprit
That preached from cloven pulpit.
As she combs her hair
To banish dark despair,
There is on sweeping stair,
The man who wasn't there.

LOL

intresting
Its a very intresting poem, especially the part where it says "this paradise", im very "intrested" to know what your idea of this is, and if it really is a paradise to you ?

Hey!
I havn't been around for a while, so it's nice to come back to a piece as smooth as this.

Paradise... In the context of this poem, it is almost an invective. Paradise, in the real sense, is this forum :-)

Thanks BLB and welcome back - you were missed!

OK folks, I posted the final version of this poem, based upon your collective guidance. This is exactly what this forum is about! I hope you like the final Despair!

Well, Kelly, I didn't think that you could improve upon this piece, but you have. The rim of your crystal glass hums with resonance, unshattered by even the highest note.

Il Pensoroso...................................................

Kelly, You are probably too young to remember Pilgrim's Progress, the greatest allegory ever written, but I believe that one section of the book had to do with The Valley of Despair. I do recall getting John Bunyan confused with Paul Bunyan.

I read so many things when I was just a wee bairn, things that I remember quite vividly today.

Keep reinventing, Kelly.

From Letty with love