Should I pursue composing?

I am only here to be happy and to get whatever I want in life. When it comes to my composing hobby, this is no exception. I have created awesome music in my mind which are songs that are so unique to me and convey such powerful emotion to me that I have decided to take up composing as a hobby to get these songs out into the world. But my only reason for pursuing composing is to get praise and recognition for these awesome songs I hear in my mind since they mean so much to me.

So it is vital that I not only get these songs produced here in the real world just as how I hear them in my mind, but to also have them showcased to the world so that they can be praised and recognized. Some people might not like the songs, but I suspect that there would be at least many people who would and that is what matters to me here.

I as a person do not need praise and recognition. It is my music that I want to have praised and recognized. Therefore, I have no true passion for composing. I am only pursuing composing to get what I want out of it (that praise and recognition for these songs I hear in my mind). However, I have some life threatening conditions that might kill me off before I get the chance to achieve my goal of having these songs praised and recognized by my family, friends, people on soundcloud/youtube, etc.

It has to be the songs I hear in my mind that get the praise and recognition; not any ones that come about through the learning process or experimentation since these types of songs aren't anything to me. They are only merely a means to gaining knowledge and experience to eventually produce the real songs I want (the songs I hear in my mind).

I need plenty of education and training in order to accurately reproduce these songs I hear in my mind. So that is going to take some time. But if, let's pretend, that I would die soon in a few weeks or months, then I would immediately give up on composing. I would be very upset and disappointed since my goal cannot be obtained. But as long as I get to live a full life (perhaps to the point where I am 80 years old), then I am more than willing to put years and years and hours and hours everyday into learning and gaining experience in composing.

But like I said, all that effort would only be put forth towards gaining that praise and recognition for my music that I want since that is my only goal in being a composer. It is a goal that means so much to me that I am willing to put all that effort into it. But if you were to take that goal out of the picture and just leave composing alone itself as a true passion, then I wouldn't pursue it at all.

Lastly, I also need my feelings of happiness and enjoyment since they are what make my life and this goal worth pursuing and living for. So if I were depressed or completely anhedonic, then that is another factor that would lead me into giving up on composing. So my question out there for those experienced in composing and those who have much knowledge and life experience, should I even bother taking up composing? Do you think it is a worthwhile endeavor in my situation?