Stress (poem)

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I feel like I'm trapped inside myself
I can't breathe or think
I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing
But it's not that easy

My life is starting to suffocate me
The pressure is too much
I don't want to think about it anymore
It's slowly beginning to break me down

The stress of it all
Too many things to remember
It's like a math equation
Too complicated to understand

I'm starting to believe that it all means nothing
What do I get from all this
Or maybe I just can't see it yet
Maybe, I'm not mature enough

There's so much to do
And only 24 hours in a day
Time is money
And I'm broke

What do you think? Good? Bad? Improvements? Thanks.

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Quote:

There's so much to do
And only 24 hours in a day
Time is money
And I'm broke

The whole thing is great! I think many readers here can relate. Personally, I would revise it with some hidden nuggets to accentuate. For example, instead of And I'm broke in the last line, I would substitute something like, And I'm without a penny, to give it a slant rhyme. Just an idea.

Excellent work!

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The words are good, but I feel no real flow. Like kelly suggested, maybe a little rhymage would spice it up some...but if you're comfortable with how it is, then that's all that matters.

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Thanks for the feedback - it's greatly appreciated. I do agree about the flow and rhyming. I'll try to revise when I have time.

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Stress (poem)

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