@TheDivaGirl,
We know you are as you keep telling us. Please stop opening new threads to whine about this over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
ehBeth gave you a list of some of your former posts on the same thing, and some of those who responded gave you useful advice.
Please find a counselor local to you to talk this stuff out with. If you can't afford a therapist, there may be local places that provide this kind of help.