The life of a golfball (for letty, cavfancier & Kellyvinal)

The life of a golfball

Kinda long, but still worth reading!


I don't know much about my birth
For the earliest thing I recall
Is being removed from my little box
A shiny new golfball

I made some friends quite quickly while
We were tapped around the shrubs
But my best friend was the caddy
I met him at the clubs

The caddy's name was Freddy
He handled me with care
And if I ever had a problem
I knew he would be there

There was a downside to this life
They hit me every day
They swung at me with metal sticks
?'Till I flew far away

They called these thugs the golfers
Who tried to win a cup
But after every dose of torture
Freddy cleaned me up

He washed and waxed my surface
?'Till I was glowing white
Not like the other old golfballs
Some were quite a sight

At first I didn't notice
When time made good looks bad
My paint was chipped and stained
And I lost some friends I had

But Freddie, he still buffed me up
My ever faithful chum
He'd smile at the sky and face life
With a cheerful hum

Life went on and time flew past
Night after day after night
Until something happened, which I couldn't
Prevent, try as I might

A terrible bumbling golfer I had
Lined up for the shot he would take
I was suprised he hit me at all
But he hit me right into the lake

Smothered in darkness, I tried to float
But the current wouldn't let me
I remained hopeful for I thought
Freddy would come and get me

But alone I remained, angry at Freddy
?'Till there was a splash from above
A pretty young golfball sank next to me
And I instantly fell in love

I may have no eyes, I may have no ears
I may not be able to talk
But I could tell, she was my true love
For we golfballs contact by thought

Her presence was golden, laced with jewels
I could feel her radiant beauty
Upper class but she didn't
Come across as snooty

We chatted a while of this and that
And friendly as she was
I could tell we would never be more
Than friends simply because

I surely wouldn't meet her standards
Which I thought must be high
Well above my ragged self
Both ugly and quite shy

One night it was so still that time
Itself seemed to be asleep
As the moon silently wove
Silver threads into the deep

The monsters came, their eyes like bugs'
Their bodies black as tar
Their feet like a ducks they carried metal tubes
That shone like tiny stars

When I was young I was told myths
Of divers in this lake
The very thought of them
Made me shiver and shake

Right above our heads one swam
With a slightly undone zipper
Unwittingly covered my true love with sand
With one kick of his flipper

A rough hand grabbed me held be tight
Torn from where I lay
With me he soared up higher and higher
To the green where the golfers play

The next part is muddled my memory's unclear
I'm not quite sure what went wrong
But I know I was back in my cardboard cell
In my little box before long

I was sold back to Freddy by the diving scum
Who cheat the golf clubs out of their money
They repaint and sell them the golf clubs own balls
And think that the concept is funny

I hate the thought that I was part of their crime
Though there is good news too
I've had a repaint so now I look
Marvellous - brand spanking new

But still all I wanted, my hearts one desire
Was to plummet back into that lake
For if I didn't find my true love
I knew that my heart would soon break

I took my chance on a blustery day
As the sun hid behind a small cloud
I was hit pretty hard so I gave myself spin
Enough to make anyone proud

I bounced once or twice then sank to the depths
To the place where I used to lie
And when I saw her my soul leapt for joy
And my heat felt like it could fly

I'd reached her high standards, I was good enough
So happy I felt I would faint
And what made me worthy? It was the divers
And my fabulous new coat of paint

And so my ambitions? To stay where I am
With the tears the joy and the laughter
And of course with my true love so I can live
Happily ever after!