Vega wrote:well i get what ur tryign to say "blueveinedthrobber" but it might not even be just about sex. It can be a new experince that u can't miss out on. I mean the point of this was so that no one would ever find out only YOU would know. So what would be the harm in it. You get a chance to do somethign without someone getting hurt. (What they dont know doesn't Hurt them)
but someone does get hurt.... you do.... for an hour of pleasure and a few seconds of coming you get a lot of guilty conscience nagging at you... and a lot of worry about getting caught.... stress stress and more stress.... not healthy... and maybe, just maybe you get the gift that keeps on giving and then pass it on to your regular mate.... not so good....
Well the whole point of this was that you wouldnt get caught. So no worries no stress. If you go and so something it will be a one time thing as u say and hour of pleaseure but thats the point. I mean u have someone already you're just looking for a moment of fun Right....?
Can you keep a secret? Here's my honest answer. I like to think that my conscience is my moral guide, not an internalized policeman. I used to be severely tyrannized by my "superego," but I've learned to challenge it, to make a distinction between FEELING guilt and BEING guilty. Therefore, I would like to be able to "cheat" for my pleasure if I knew that in no possible way it would hurt the woman I love. But such cheating would have to be with not just anyone, only with the few woman I know who would make it worthwhile.
But I can't imagine a non-hypothetical situation where such a guarantee could exist. The spouse eventually finds out and suffers. Then I would BE guilty. And when we marry, we commit ourselves to not hurting our spouse (or partner).
JLNobody wrote:Can you keep a secret? Here's my honest answer. I like to think that my conscience is my moral guide, not an internalized policeman. I used to be severely tyrannized by my "superego," but I've learned to challenge it, to make a distinction between FEELING guilt and BEING guilty. Therefore, I would like to be able to "cheat" for my pleasure if I knew that in no possible way it would hurt the woman I love. But such cheating would have to be with not just anyone, only with the few woman I know who would make it worthwhile.
But I can't imagine a non-hypothetical situation where such a guarantee could exist. The spouse eventually finds out and suffers. Then I would BE guilty. And when we marry, we commit ourselves to not hurting our spouse (or partner).
How is "feeling guilty" different from "being guilty" in a situation where you did something you know, for an absolute fact, would hurt your loved one? The point of love is not for your own personal gain; love is selflesss. Just because one does something without their loved one knowing doesn't mean they aren't guilty.
I want to answer for JLNobody so bad, but I'll bite me tongue and let the man speak for himself.
Cheating on spouse: No way. Why? I'd just leave him if I didn't want him anymore. lol.
If I did not want to continue as spouse of my wife I would divorce her. I did once, many years ago, but we remarried about 25 years later. In effect, our divorce failed. By "cheating" I'm referring to something which is, in a way, cheating on myself, on my integrity, for the sake of carnal pleasure. It's not something that is admirable and for that reason I would not do it. I just said that I would WANT to if it were not possible that injury--including injury for the person I cheat with--would result. I do not FEEL guilty for wanting to (I'm entitled to my purely private fantasies and desires), but I would BE guilty of violating my own values and our marriage vows if I did.
