Would you... if you could?

I did once...I'll never do it again.

I know I'm not playing along..sorry

I don't mean to pry but... would you not do it again because you got caught, or because you got away with it and have to live with your decision?

I've never been married, but if I was...

Probably not. I have been true to my significant other for over 20 years. It's probably more because no other woman in her right mind has standards low enough to have an affair with me.
But if my ideal sexy woman did throw herself at me, probably yes.

I guess I ask a new question?

Also If you were guaranteed not to get caught...
would you kick (politician of your choice) in the behind?

Nope.

I wouldn't be able to stand it, and would have to say something, so the "not caught" part wouldn't matter.

Also, presumably it would be someone I'd WANT to cheat with, and it would be too dangerous in terms of comparisons -- someone that you have occasional contact with, under heightened, charged circumstances, is always going to be more exciting than the person you live with. And the person you live with will thereby suffer by comparison. And if you are feeling like you could do better, that comes out in all kinds of ways that can destroy the marriage from within.

Oh and I'd so kick Bush. I almost had a chance four years ago, (he walked past me at a stupid labor day parade, as a candidate not Prez) and I wish I'd done SOMETHING.

(Not a hospital-sending kick, just an attention-getting hey you yes you coupled with a glare.)

because you got away with it and have to live with your decision-that's the one

I just want to pimpslap that smirk off of his face once and for all. And if he has to go to the hospital, tough.

No I never would. If the relationship comes to that, then it's time try to fix it or time to call it quits.

I wouldn't do it either... I don't think I could live with myself.

But for arguments sake... It wouldn't be becasue you were unhappy with your current partner or thought you could do better... it would be more like a "This is my fantasy person and I don't want a relationship with him/her but could have a lot of fun for one night" kind of thing. You could even assume that this person felt the same way about you.

Oh and kicking politicians... I say line them all up. They could all use a kick in the a$$ once in awhile. On and give me a really big, really hard boot to wear too.

But even if the motivation wasn't that you were unhappy or that you thought you could do better, I don't see how there could be any competition once it happened.

Maybe if all memory of the event was wiped out immediately after it happened -- but then why do it?

OK, maybe that takes it to another level (which I believe has been addressed in a few recent films, but anyway) -- would you do something amazing and fantastic, no strings, if you then had no memory or lasting evidence of it? (i.e., not, like, total body plastic surgery...)

No... no point to it. Why do something if you couldn't remember it. Unless it was something bad that you felt you needed to do but didn't really want to.

My wife was raped when she was 13. It wasn't violent, he wore a condom and there were even other poeple there, one of which was her so called best friend. But she is still hurt by it today... over 14 years later. Part of it is how her family reacted to it and part was that she continued to see him around in random places. Seeing the pain it has caused her and the anger that he got away with it... if I knew for a fact that Icould get away with it, I would find him and cause him serious pain... the kind that lasts an entire lifetime. like the pain he has inflicted on her. But I don't think I would want to remember what I did to him.

You raise an interesting conflict here, jp, the desire to wish serious agony on the prepetrator of a heinous act, and the feeling that you would not want to remember your act of vengeance. It's very dual. You want to take action, but do not want to accept responsibility on some level, hence your desire to 'not remember'. Interesting discussion.

I wouldn't do it. I admit it would probably be enjoyable, no doubt, for 2 or 12 hours or whatever.

But the destruction it would cause inside myself and to the loving relationship would not be worth it. Not even close. Even if I didn't get caught. Its kind of funny: even thinking purely selfishly, I wouldn't do it. In the long run I would be cheating myself out of a lifetime of solid love (potentially, at least).

Consciences are funny things sometimes. Sometimes you "think" you got away with something. No one caught you, it doesn't even seem to bother your conscience--at first. "Wow-that was too easy, that wasn't so bad..." you might think. Then 6 months or a year later it comes back to personally haunt your conscience. No one else knows. No one else caught you. Just that little person inside your brain, talking to you in the middle of the night. Sometimes I think the worst person to get "caught" by is your self.

And then there's the whole question of: you know, its easy for all of us to sit here and say "oh no I would never do that." But make us not have sex for a few weeks or so, put us in a dark room with a very attractive member of the opposite sex, the kind that particularly turns us on, maybe get us a little drunk or something, switch that "you're guaranteed to never get caught" switch in our brain, and the person is seducing you . . . its hard to predict what you might actually do.

How about this one: If you had a chance to lift $100 million from a huge company that you didn't particularly like anyway, and they have so much money no one there would miss it, (lets say some multi-millionaires just lost a penny each on their stock prices or something) and you were guaranteed you could live the rest of your life on it and never get caught, would you do it?

Who says it wasn't violent? What more of a violation can be visited upon someone than this? And to have it done in the presence of others? Just my opinion, which you didn't ask for, but it seems to me there are some serious denial issues going on here. No wonder she is still in pain.

Psychic bruises are the deepest and the most painful, to be taken against your will is violence defined.

Joe

She did. I meant the physical violence like getting punched and that sort of stuff. Obviously there would be emotional scars... but it could have been a lot worse. She has been very open about it with me and although sometimes something triggers that memory, for the most part she deals with it quite well. She is a very strong woman.

I don't think that it is so much an issue of not wanting to take responsibility as much as finding out that I indeed did enjoy it. I get so angry watching the news and hearing these stories of rapists getting off or a measly 5 years in jail for causing a lifetime of pain to someone... I might actually enjoy handing out some vigilante justice and want to hand out some more... I think I would be more scared of the person I would become (sinking down to their level) than remembering the actual act of doing it.

Name the place and the time... I'd have to give it to all of the poor employees who have gotten burned in the past, though. Revenge for Enron.

Cheat on Partner:

No, I'd definitively not cheat on a partner. Unless she accepts it previously (of course I'd do the same) so it wouldn't be considered a'cheating now.

Politician Kicking:

Sure, I'd kick all kinds of people too.

The $100 Million:

This I'm not sure. I'd maybe take 1 million and accept responsibility if asked. Or.... I'd flip a coin.

Flipping a coin always works because when I resort to it I'm always under two situations:

a) I'm totally impartial between decisions
b) I subtly prefer one but not enough to be totally sure

So I flip a coin...

If I'm in situation a) then I pick whichever the coin tells me. If I'm in situation b) and the decision I prefer loses then I realize it's not that subtle and change the coin verdict, if it lands on the other face then I do that.

It helps me realize what I really want.

I would expect no less or more of you. You are a deep thinker.