The Skeletal Comedian (restructured)

Working the graveyard shift again,
literally, digging new holes
for forgone souls.
It's sweaty, gruesome work,
so I always pack a picnic,
some bread, cheese, cold cuts
and a bottle of wine.
I'm looking forward to a break
when my shovel hits something hard.

"Fer chrissakes! What was that?"

I brush the dirt
from the offending object
and a skeleton jumps up
from the ground.

"Whoa! Easy with that shovel,
you nearly scared me out of my skin!
Oh wait, you DID scare me out of my skin!"

The skeleton's teeth clattered
in an odd pastiche of laughter.

"Man, sometimes I slay myself!"

The skeleton rolled on the ground
completely engrossed in his joke
.
"Sheesh, if I laugh any harder,
I'll lose my head!"

The skeleton popped off his head
and said
"Look, I'm holding my head in my hands."

This act was already getting tired.
He put his head back and looked around.

"Say, what's in the basket, friend?"

"Bread, cheese, cold cuts and a bottle of wine."

"Hey, crack open that bottle, I want to show you something."

I opened the bottle and handed it to him.
He took a sip, and it trickled through his ribs
onto the ground.

"I guess I don't have the stomach for wine anymore."

I had to admit, that was pretty funny.

"Mr. skeleton,"

"Please, call me Bones."

I snickered.

"Okay, Bones, for someone so dead,
you seem to have a good sense of humour."

The skeleton got pensive for a moment.

"Kid, let me tell you a story.
Twenty years ago,
I was a struggling comic.
At a club one night,
a couple of rowdy hecklers
didn't take kindly to my jokes.
They were big, burly, drunk,
and carrying knives.
They jumped me as I left the joint,
dragged me here and tossed me in the ground.
That's the end of the tale.
I still think it's funny
that of all places
to bury a murder victim,
they chose a cemetery.
Do you think that means
they had morals hidden
somewhere inside them?"

I didn't really know what to say.

"Let me tell you something
about the dead.
We spend a lot of time
watching the living,
and you guys are hilarious,
the way you ponder the afterlife
or lack of one.
You wonder if we are sad we died,
or if we suffer.
All I can say is that for the last twenty years,
the only thing I thought about
was how much
I wanted to use those new one-liners."