The Debate, in poetic form

Bush
This is a message of which I've approved
My opinions never have moved
On the war in Iraq
Or Medicaid on the block
You're all equally scrooved!

Kerry
I'm the Senator from the Bay State
Hey, weren't my Navy years great?
They say I've flip-flopped
My poll numbers have dropped
I'd better step up the plate

Nader
My name in Nader
I wish I was debating, but
I need a platform

LOL

That's pretty damn funny, Jespah.

The Nader Rap

My name is Kiiiidddddd!!!!!!
Okay, it's Nader,
I don't have a platform
but I ain't Darth Vader.
Bush all up in eye-racks's grill,
Kerry says 'Hey, I'm a hopeful still?'
They all wanna ill,
none wanna chill,
call me Nader,
but don't call me Bill.
Word up to my 47 peeps in da house!
Erm, I meant da country!!

Glad to see Jes is writing again.
Like hurricane Jeanne there'll be lots of wind.

And Mr. Ralph Nader is not a debater.
Unsafe at any speed? We'll have to see later.

Ms. Richards said don't underestimate Bush,
And if Kerry should, he'll be out on his tush.

Even though Florida's a pivotal state,
Don't think I can stand staying up quite that late.

Good one!

To the tune of Dion's classic schmaltz-fest, "Abraham, Martin & John":

Has anybody here
seen my old friend John?
He ran a swift boat in his day
but now they're saying
his medals have been recycled
and his wife is kinda strange

Has anybody here
seen my old friend Dubya?
Oh he's got cowboy boots and a nice hat
but now they're saying
there are no WMDs
wonder if Osama has a good nickname

Has anybody here
seen my old friend Ralph?
He used to be unsafe at any speed
but now they're saying
his ego's the size of Jersey
maybe his Corvair got a flat

Didn't you love the things that they stood for?
Didn't they try to find some good for you and me?
And we'll be free
Some day soon, and it's a-gonna be one day ...

Anybody here seen my old friend the voter?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walk up over the hill,
and disappear in a Florida swamp

but, but, but Gus don't live in Florida!

Great, Cav.

Come on Kicky, sex up the songs.
We don't mind your ribald, if it's not very long.

It's really, really, really hard work
and my opponent? Why, he's just a jerk
wrong place, time and war
that's what the UN is for?
And my smile's not really a smirk

I'm a deadpan kind of a guy
I really can talk on the fly
I respect all the voters
don't joke about my daughters
Vote for me? I hope you know why

--- Watched the debate and paid attention to the body language. Bush could not stop drinking water; he grabbed his glass something like a dozen times, whereas Kerry did so only twice. Bush also looked around a lot, reminded me of how Nixon looked in the Nixon-Kennedy debates. Kerry nodded and stiffly smiled a lot, and nodded a lot at what Bush was saying.

Anyway, in terms of body language, neither of them came across well. I suppose that's a good thing - we're supposed to care about what they say, as opposed to how they look when saying it, but people tend to subliminally remember gestures and facial expressions. They are a part of speech, and I don't think either candidate communicated too terribly well in that fashion.

Didn't watch it, nor did I care to,
Just who are those guys being fair to?

I really don't know,
Diggin' out here in Flo,
So we'll just have to go
Where no man has ever gone before
and that would be the imagination of the
Human mind--the last frontier.

Sorry, Jes. Stream of consciousness...

Presidential Debate 2004: The Poem