Reply Wed 29 Sep, 2004 11:08 am
Shallower than a puddle in a parking lot,
Like an engine which has run out of steam,
and a candle which has burned at both ends,
life puts me in a spot,
vunerable to it's miseries,
like a sitting duck.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 849 • Replies: 19
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Sep, 2004 11:14 am
I liked this a lot, especially the different personifications of life.

As my grandfather never used to say, "when life overwhelms you, don't be a sitting duck, be a s*itting duck and crap all over everything yelling f-you. It may not get you anywhere, but boy does it feel good."
0 Replies
 
Letty
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Sep, 2004 11:25 am
Gautam, I am delighted to see that you are writing again, and I love the way you get right to the heart of things. Yes, my friend, life sees us coming, I think. I guess it's up to each of us to get out of the road.
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Sep, 2004 11:35 am
I wish Gautam would post more original writing <hint> Wink
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InTraNsiTiOn
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Sep, 2004 06:20 pm
cavfancier wrote:
I wish Gautam would post more original writing <hint> Wink


Me too!! That was really nice Gautam.
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Sep, 2004 06:48 pm
Re: Life
Gautam wrote:
Shallower than a puddle in a parking lot,
Like an engine which has run out of steam,
and a candle which has burned at both ends,
life puts me in a spot,
vunerable to it's miseries,
like a sitting duck.


I love it, Gautam! Hey, you've just described my state of mind, right this minute!
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Sep, 2004 08:36 pm
good one gautam
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kellyvinal
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 12:46 am
Lot - Spot - Luck

Nice combo, Gautam!
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the prince
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 01:25 am
Smile Thanks guys - this was again one of thos spur of the moment poems which I wrote as part of a creative challenge, in which I had to write a poem with the words "engine, puddle, spot, duck and candle" in it ! Glad you guyz liked it !
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 01:31 am
Sure, Gautam, sure! Rolling Eyes
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the prince
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 01:32 am
msolga wrote:
Sure, Gautam, sure! Rolling Eyes


Huh ?
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 01:36 am
Your lovely poem had nothing to do with your deepest thoughts, yearnings, efforts to come to grips with "it all"? I thought you were speaking from your soul! Sad
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the prince
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 01:41 am
Oh of course it is - all my poems come from my heart, whether it is part of a challenge, a spur of the moment thing or just plain tomfoolry.

My writing is something which is very precious to me, I never take it lightly (unless I am writing a limerick or something)
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kellyvinal
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 01:47 am
Master the subtle art of the slant rhyme, and you are on your way to mastering 21st century contemporary poetry :-)
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 01:47 am
Gautam wrote:
Smile Thanks guys - this was again one of thos spur of the moment poems which I wrote as part of a creative challenge, in which I had to write a poem with the words "engine, puddle, spot, duck and candle" in it ! Glad you guyz liked it !


Sorry, G! I just thought the quote negated (to some extent) your poem, which I loved! I had visions of you pondering so deeply over a flickering flame, trying, trying to get your deepest felt feelings on paper.
That's all ... I still like your poem very much! Smile
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the prince
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 01:49 am
I never sit down, ponder and write - believe me when I say this, "I have never spent more that 10 mins in writing any of my work" - all my work is spontaneous - even the most mundane things will trigger off my deepest thoughts which I will put on paper.
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 01:53 am
OK, G... I'm sorry if I offended you. I thought I was being tongue in cheek! Whoops!
0 Replies
 
kellyvinal
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 02:01 am
I'm kind of like that myself, Guatam. In my five published collections and in numerous magazines over the past quarter century, I have around 475 published poems. I would say that the average time I spend on the original draft is around 10 minutes. Revision, however.... That can take up to an hour each! Keep at it - you are a talented writer!
0 Replies
 
the prince
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 02:07 am
olga, no offense taken. All my friends have a right to question me. It is just that I needed to clarify my position on something which is very dear to my heart.

Kellyvinyl, many thanks for yr encouragement.
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Sep, 2004 02:14 am
Oh, now I feel awful, Gautam! Crying or Very sad It was OBVIOUS that your poem was very close to your heart! I actually thought you were making light of it by your reference to the competition. WROOOOONG! Shocked That's why I was being flippant! Where oh where is the bloody PM facility when you'd like to use it? <sigh>
You can be my poet laureate anytime, G! Smile
0 Replies
 
 

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