Preschool teacher problem

Please someone tell me if im over reacting... Or if i have legit reason to be upset about this

I would suggest that what is going on in your home is Affecting your daughter's self esteem.
A 4year old who has anxiety and is over emotional is carrying those feelings from home.

If you need any more reason to leave that jerk you live with , then think about your kids.

I actually was reading about my daughters behaviours and shes considered highly sensitive

Oh wow eh, how old is your daughter?
I myself am also VERY highly sensitive. It really sucks because i do have to watch what other children say and do to or around her as if 1 child simply says "i dont wanna hang out with u" she wont go back to the pplace that the child was at. Also, adults.. She seems to be okay with adults but i do think its because adults are less likely to hurt her she thinks. The other day i did in fact ask her what she thought of her teacher and she said that her teacher is a very mean person, she is mean to her ans telld her friends not to listen to her when she says no.. So if layla says no to a kid for whatever reason and what shes saying is being put off or unvalidated thats going to hurt her. When i simply ask her not to bang her fork on the table(in normal voice) not giving her trouble.. She will run and hide and cry uncontrollably. So thay leaves me at a loss

As well this is her first school and in the public district. Im now moving her to a roman catholic school where i went yeaterday and voiced ny concerns and they actually heard every word i said. They are now setting her up with a private teacher to walk her to her class and stay with her for as long as it takes,that being said the public school refused to allow me to voice my concerns her teacher was actually supposed to call me back in regards to an incident on friday abd has not bothered to call me. So she obv does not have time to speak with me and find diff ways and strategies to work with mu baby. Which i wont allow.

As a general rule, children learn how to deal with life via their parents:

- if their parents handle conflict thoughtfully, they will learn how to do so
- if their parents are respectful to all people, that's how they'll learn to be
- if their parents are optimistic even in the face of adversity, that is how they'll learn to face adversity

In terms of anxiety - if their parents:
- worry about what other people think of them, they will learn to worry as well
- worry over adversity, that is how they'll learn to deal with adversity
- worry about their own abilities, then their children will learn seach worries

etc.

The easiest way to see this, is in extreme situations - watch two parents in conflict in front of a child. If one parent then comforts the child while behaving hysterically, then usually the child ends up crying / displaying heightened anxiety. If this behaviour happens frequently, then such reactions to conflict starts becoming habit for the child. In contrast, if a parent comforts the child with soothing tone, calm body language, and empathetic explanation usually the child ends up holding their head up.

It is quite possible that much of your child's anxiety is being learnt from your behaviours (see the very first statement - the rest was very, very basic example/explanation)

In terms of your own anxiety - it is very possible that you learnt much of your anxiety from one of your parents, or from traumatic experiences while you were growing up, or from a very controlling partner who put you down all the time.

To work out if you are contributing to your childs anxiety, I'd consider videoing family interactions (for your own use, but for a professional if you ever felt the need), and reviewing:
- how you handle conflict (how much anxiety is in it)
- the tone of voice you use (how much anxiety is it)
- how you interpret difficulties (see above)

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It may not seem fair that another person point out that your child may be learning her anxiety from you...and that children's major example / learning how to deal with life, comes from the example set by their parents, is simply a fact of life.

What we do with this information, decides much in our childrens lives.
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You said you were very upset about this. Do you believed that you had enough information make a judgement on such a thing? For example:

-How much attention had the teacher given your child before you showed up? (eg. perhaps she had just spent the previous 20 minutes paying attention to your child before you arrived, and decided that was enough?)

- when your child says that the teacher didn't reward her because the teacher thinks your child didn't think before answering her properly...do you know what that actually entails? (eg. did your child saying something thoughtless? If so, would you really want her rewarded in such a case?)


Hope it helps some