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Will We Have Genitalia In Heaven?

 
 
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 02:36 pm
Because if I don't have a penis......I'm wondering what I'll do with all that spare time......
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 2,455 • Replies: 25
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 02:41 pm
Damn...I just watched 'Dogma' again recently and thought "Man, if I go to heaven and meet muse Salma Hayek in her stripper outfit with no dick, I would be seriously pissed off."
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cavfancier
 
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Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 02:42 pm
As far as I know, in honesty, angels have no genitalia, but humans do, and I think that applies to heaven as well.
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blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 02:42 pm
Actually Cav, the shocking thing is that we are seriously talking as though we might get to heaven......
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cavfancier
 
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Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 02:57 pm
God is a lawyer with fine print, independent clauses, and a good eye for setting precedent. I believe he/she considers the severity of sin in passing judgement on who enters heaven. I see us marching together through the pearly gates (heh, pearls always remind me of necklaces) shouting out "So long Dubya! We were just smartasses! You was a dumbass!" Then St. Peter will write up a little note saying "This is parody, and in no way reflects the opinions of the intended people involved in the goal of getting into heaven, and even if it does, to persecute them for that would be considered slander, and heaven has great friggin' lawyers, despite all those jokes."
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Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 02:58 pm
i'm sure we will... in the other place.
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 03:06 pm
Region Philbis wrote:
i'm sure we will... in the other place.


Yeah, but constant crotch-burn is pretty nasty.
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 04:13 pm
Quote:
Will We Have Genitalia In Heaven?


Is that anything like "Cheeseburgers in Paradise"?

Maybe you could him a few bars!Very Happy
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Terry
 
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Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 05:37 pm
I certainly hope not! I do not look forward to an eternity of PMS, menstruation, and bras. We could still cuddle and even have virtual sex, without the mess ...
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panzade
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 05:39 pm
Woman's heaven- man's hell
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blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 05:39 pm
Terry wrote:
I certainly hope not! I do not look forward to an eternity of PMS, menstruation, and bras. We could still cuddle and even have virtual sex, without the mess ...


you can have genitalia without pms and menstruation...ask my 90 year old Aunt Gertrude......
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blueveinedthrobber
 
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Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 05:40 pm
a bottle with a hole in it, a woman without one...Panzade.....that's hell....
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coluber2001
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 06:09 pm
You won't need any genitalia in heaven, unless you plan on plucking your harp strings with it, because that's what you'll be doing all the time, plucking a harp. Have fun.
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dauer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 06:15 pm
Did you say plucking a harp?
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blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 06:17 pm
coluber2001 wrote:
You won't need any genitalia in heaven, unless you plan on plucking your harp strings with it, because that's what you'll be doing all the time, plucking a harp. Have fun.


I'm going to play mine through a mesa triple rec with a Zakk Wyllde stomp box......
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 06:19 pm
More importantly, will geezers have new ones replacing their old wore out ones.
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Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 06:19 pm
dauer wrote:
Did you say plucking a harp?



Yes, so don't plucking harp on!



Now someone has started such a discussion I am going to ask the big questions about the afterlife that disturb me greatly........
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Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 06:34 pm
Disturbing thought No. 1:

We leave our phsyical (corporeal) bodies behind. OK. Then we are re-born/re-animated in a 'new' body. Seeing that there is no physical manifestation of an afterlife, it is not PHYSICAL. Without a physical body to feel or have the usual sorts of sensations, HOW DOES IT WORK?

We are still supposed to feel fear and pain and love in the afterlife. How? No nerves, no chemical transmitters in the brain, no hunger or thirst, no sexual desire. Hell is full of everlasting suffering and pain. I don't feel anything. Torment a non-existent body, big deal.
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 06:39 pm
The after-life sounds sort of boring, doesn't it, Mr S?
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Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Sep, 2004 06:46 pm
Distubing thought No. 2:

Do we have the same sort of relationships in the afterlife that we do here?

I get married, my wife dies. I get over it. And marry again. We both die married to each other.

I am then in Heaven lawfully married to TWO wives (or vice-versa for the ladies). What to do? If I married both times within the Church and fully expected to fulfil the my vows I'm sunk. I have broken holy law and I'm sent to Hell.
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