@maxdancona,
You still don't get it. The OP about 'faster than light communication' is an extrapolation of the
simultaneous complementary spin polarization of entangled particles. That is where the concept of 'communication' (about polarity shift) breaks down since communication implies
two events which involve two observers. If you like, this explanation reflects the formal 'proof by contradiction' in logic.
Your admitted antipathy to 'philosophy' seems to be blinkering you to one of its more recent developments called 'deconstruction', in which the
meaning of concepts always includes covert allusions to their antithesis. Secondly, contrary to a naive realist position it
does matter how many observers there are since the 'event' is an act of personal observation albeit that local observers can verbally agree with each other about the 'nature' of the event (in the same way that
we might agree to call the color of an object 'green', whereas someone from a different culture might not).And a third issue that scientists often fail to appreciate is that the first level of 'measurement' is the
nominal level i.e. naming or assigning 'thinghood'. Other levels of measurement are based on that.