this is me.

don't know if i'm in the rigth spot aging. can't make heads or tales of this sigth lol.just wanted to talk about my life so you migth understand me a little better.

grew up in a small town in pennsavaina call need more.sleepy little town not to many pepole i would say about 100 if that. everyone new every one . learnt the value of a hard day's work when i was just a youngster.
summer vac working on the farm. and in the winter chop would for the eldery pepole in town never asked to be paid just felt rigth.

never really new my father only thing i can rember was he was one meen s.o.b. geuss thats where i get my anger from. well my mom she was something of the town slut. so many men ran in and out of that house . i geuss she just never could find a man that she could truely love.

yhea there was alot of abuse but i'm older know. don't think i would be the same man if it didn't happen you know greatfull in some ways becuse i know that isn't the kind of man i wanted to become. well we whinded up moveing when i was 13 came down to the south. to stay here in cocoa florida. it was like stepping in to a whole other world down here. i made friends quickly but just as many enamy's. never did feel the the same got hooked up with a bad crowed. started to drink and do drug's. life was falling apart it would seem.

still many new face's came and when out of the house. then one day you would belive me but i thank her most greatfully for leaveing . yep she hit the road with a man that had some money he never liked me . but what can i say i never liked him eather. so i dropped out of school lied and told pepole i was older then i was . they knew but they also new that i would just about do anything for work.

didn't take long for me to prove to them that i wasn't just some punk kid of the street. life when on for a while allone by my self many time's i had tried to take my own life becuse the fact that i didn't think i was going to make it alone with a house payment and car payment and all that jazz.
at what i was making. when hungry many nigths becuse i couldn't aford food. really didn't want to live off the state . prid i geuss foolish prid.

then one day thing's started to look up for me. i meet this beutfull angel named amanda. god she way amzing in every way that anyman could ever want . she was smart funny sexy and she had this ablity to just make the whole room smile when she was around. god i loved her and she loved me. she made me complete in every way she gave me hope for tommrow.

thing were great between us and she moved in and we got ingaged. and it was like a fairytale you know. but one day while i was at work she took her own life. to this day i still rember comeing home. to find her lieing there on the floor. i picked her up in my arms to see a pool of blood beneath here. i rember me cring out god no why did you take her away.
as i held her tigth and ran her to the car driveing what seemed to be for ever to the hospitle . just couldn't go back home after that. looking in to her mom's eyes as she held me tigth saing it's not your foult steve it's no one's foult i must have stayed in my car for about two weeks till some of her family came and got me.

after the funnarl they asked me what was i going to do . i just told them i don't know. they say time heal's a wond's i say there wrong.
so i moved away spent 7 long years figthing my self dieing it felt like to me can a man die from a broken heart i hoped so still today this rigth here bring's back those familer memory's

so i moved back it's been a year now back in cocoa visted her the other day. cleaned up her sigth and plased some rose's here faverit. couldn't help but to cry couldn't feel my heart beat.

this is just my life story so far i'll add to it but i just need to stop sorry.