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Sat 11 Sep, 2004 08:33 am
A routine visit to her local doctor had changed Nicola Smith's life.She was diagnosed with osteoporosis.Like wise, Nicola had joined thousands of Australian women in this disease.
"I didn't realise I was going to have osteoporosis, I didn't think that my poor diet would cause troubles to me", the successful and active business woman said.
Nicola had the bones of a sixty year old man,although she was 29.She had to deal with bones weakness and susceptibility.
She didn't have the enough calcium intake in her foods and didn't have the good and required exercises.Now, Nicola is urging all women to give more attention to their diet ."Calcium-rich foods and fat-low dairy foods with enough exercises would make your bones thankful", she said.
Now, and after eight years , Nicola eats nutritious food with enough calcium and doing regular exercises that include strengthening .She is showing a dramatically improvement.
I am just going to comment on grammar here for now. You don't need "had" in the first sentence, "changed Nicola Smith's life" is just fine. The third sentence needs reworking. It is a bit awkward. I would get rid of "likewise" and rewrite the sentence: "Nicola had joined a group of thousands of Austrailian women who suffered from this disease." Minor point, "I didn't think I was going to get osteoporosis," rather than "have". Maybe "She had to deal with her susceptibility to bone weakness now." "She didn't have enough calcium in her diet [you don't need 'the' in that sentence], "and did not exercise properly for her condition." I would reword the next quote as "Calcium-rich foods and low-fat dairy products, with exercise, will strengthen your bones, and prevent this condition." The last sentence, "After eight years, Nicola now eats nutritious calcium-rich food, and exercises regularily, including strenght training. She is improving dramatically."
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