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eternal love

 
 
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2004 03:28 pm
i see u waiting by the door, waiting to come in
alone i was until u came, condoling all my sin
Your time has come, is all he says, softly as he cries
"death", i said "is all i fear, there to paralize."
"u tower over my fragile frame, that's thrown upon ur feet"
"i cry 4 me and all who know, and those whom u shall meet"
when he spoke his voice was soft, soft and yet so cold
Of all the souls that i have took, my love 4 u is old
Far greater than the sloping hills that around us roll
But ur time has come, i have no choice, ur life shall be the toll
gently as he pick me up, with grace that no one knows
he wraps me in his warm embrace, this is the path i chose
no mate in life, that i knew but now the tides do turn
cold, maybe my body now, but with my love i burn
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 540 • Replies: 3
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kellyvinal
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Sep, 2004 05:19 am
Perhaps a nice spellchecker would help, unless you intended to write this in this butchered manner.
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lostinthedesert
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Sep, 2004 05:42 pm
that's kind of sweet, but to my knowledge, I believe all the words are correctly spelled, it's just lacking the correct punctuation
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lostinthedesert
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Sep, 2004 05:45 pm
Is there anything else you think this piece could improve upon? Also to answer the prior question, I did intend to leave out the proper grammar.
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