Funny Quotes from the 2004 Summer Olympics

Reply Wed 8 Sep, 2004 03:56 am
1. Basketball analyst: He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.

2. Boxing analyst: Sure there have been injuries,and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.

3. Dressage commentator: This is really a lovely horse, and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.

4. Softball announcer: If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.

5. Tennis commentator: One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes his balls and kisses them.

6. Weightlifting commentator: This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.
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Reply Wed 8 Sep, 2004 05:48 am
more more , these are great
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Reply Wed 8 Sep, 2004 05:53 am
farmerman wrote:
more more , these are great

I agree. More please.
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Grand Duke
Reply Wed 8 Sep, 2004 06:08 am
Here's a load of quotes from (I think mainly British) sports commentators about sport in general. Sorry they're not specifically about the Olympics, but many are really funny.


Her time about 4.13, which she's capable of. [DAVID COLEMAN]

She never knows when she's beaten except when she actually is. [STEPHEN HADLEY]

There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with twenty thousand people... [DAVID COLEMAN]

He is even smaller in real life than he is on the track. [DAVID COLEMAN]

...a very powerful set of lungs, very much hidden by that chest of his. [ALAN PASCOE]

Virren, the champion, came in fifth place and ran a champions race. [ANON]

This boy swims like a greyhound... [ANTHONY STILL]

...he just can't believe what's not happening to him. [DAVID COLEMAN]

Tahamata went through the air like a torpedo. [PETER JONES]

Both these players seem to anticipate the play of the other almost before it's happened. [TONY GUBBA]

Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel - a Mecca for tourists. [DAVID VINE]

Harvey Glance, the black American sprinter with the white top and the black bottom... [RON PICKERING]

There is only one winner in this race. [DAVID COLEMAN]

...and the winner is the winner. [DAVID COLEMAN]

Bradford, who had gone up from 200 metres to 400, found it hard going and for the last 100 was always going backwards. [DAVID COLEMAN]

Henry Runo... the man with those tremedous asbestos lungs. [RON PICKERING]


And the crowd go wild as they see the shaven head of Hagler enter the auditorium. And there he is, hooded... [REG GUTTERIDGE]

...and Magri has to do well against this unknown Mexican who comes from a famous family of five boxing brothers. [HARRY CARPENTER]

Heis had 24 fights, lost one, so he is undefeated... [ALAN MINTER]

Minter, the undisputed world champion, leaves the ring not a champion. [HARRY CARPENTER]

Well, I'm hoping we can fight again, or at least have a re-match. [JOHN CONTEH]

To be honest, it was a very physical fight... [JIM WATT]

This ring really does look small although it's standard size. Mind you, we're watching the fight in a huge stadium so Einstein's theory of relativity must be working here. [REG GUTTERIDGE]


It's his second finger - technically his third. [CHRISTOPHER MARTIN-JENKINS]

...this series has been swings and pendulums all the way through. [TREVOR BAILEY]

It's a unique occasion, really - a repeat of Melbourne 1977. [JIM LAKER]

It's especially tense for parker who's literally fighting for a place on an overcrowded plane to India. [TREVOR BAILEY]

Boycott, somewhat a creature of habit, likes exactly the sort of food he himself prefers. [DON MOSEY]

Bill Frindall has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator... [JOHN ARLOTT]

The Test Match begins in ten minutes - that's our time, of course... [DAVID COLEMAN]

Lilee bowled seven overs, no maidens, no wickets for 35, and I think that's a true reflection of his figures too. [ALAN McGILVAN]

...and England win by a solitary nine runs... [FRANK BOUGH]

After their 60 overs, West Indies have scored 244 for 7, all out. [FRANK BOUGH]

The hallmark of a great captain is his ability to win the toss at the right time. [RICHIE BENAUD]


Within a couple of minutes he had scored two goals in a two-minute period. [ALAN PARRY]

For a player to ask for a transfer has opened everybody's eyebrows. [BOBBY ROBSON]

The score is Middlesborough 1, Middlesborough 0 - and Middlesborough have now gone eleven matches without a win. [DAVID COLEMAN]

John Bond's smile is always very, very good radio... [MIKE INGHAM]

After a goalless first half, the score at half-time is 0-0. [BRIAN MOORE]

And Keegan was there like a surgeon's knife - bang! [BRYAN BUTLER]

Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hooped shirts... they look like a team of zebras. [PETER JONES]

So far Villa have only troubled Bradshaw twice with shots that did not trouble him. [LARRY CANNING]

Without picking out individuals, I thought Gary Stanley did very well indeed. [ANON]

Even when you're dead you shouldn't lie down and let yourself be buried. [GORDON LEE]

Gary Bailey had to choose tonight to miss out on saving that. [DAVID COLEMAN]

I promise results, not promises. [JOHN BOND]

I wouldn't mind being a fly on Larry Lloyd's shorts. [MARTIN JOHNSON]

...and their manager, terry Neil, isn't here today, which suggests he is somewhere else. [BRIAN MOORE]

Most of the things I've done are my own fault, so I can't feel guilty about them. [GEORGE BEST]

I have other irons in the fire, but I'm keeping them close to my chest. [JOHN BOND]

I don't think they're as good as they are. [KEVIN KEEGAN]

History, as John Bond would agree, is all about todays and not about yesterdays. [BRIAN MOORE]

The advantage of being at home is very much with the home side. [DENIS LAW]

Some of the players never dreamed they'd be playing in a Cup Final at Wembley - but here they are today, fulfilling those dreams. [LAWRIE McMENEMY]
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Reply Wed 8 Sep, 2004 06:15 am
Bravo, CK. These are wonderful.
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Reply Wed 8 Sep, 2004 06:31 am

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lab rat
Reply Wed 8 Sep, 2004 09:54 am
One of the NBA players (I don't remember who) once was quoted:
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees!"
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Grand Duke
Reply Wed 8 Sep, 2004 10:08 am
dlowan wrote:


Try Googling 'Colemanballs'. David Coleman is a British commentator reknowned for slip-ups like these.
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Reply Wed 8 Sep, 2004 10:27 am
On this part of the world, they've become quite correct, but there are some old greats froms sports commentators:

Summer Olympics 1998: "The Italian flag is just like the Mexican flag, except for the star" (Luis Villicaña) - what star?

Winter Olympics 1994: "Gerda Weissensteiner, from Italy. Hey, that's not an Italian last name!" (Fernando Schwartz, who has, as you can see, a very Mexican last name)

Football World Cup 1990: "Rome is so old. It's full of colonial style buildings" (Heriberto Murrieta).
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Reply Tue 14 Sep, 2004 11:50 am
Some Croatian and Serbian quotes:

Atlanta Olympics: "And in next lane, biggest favourite for gold, Michael Jordan...I'm sorry, Michael Jackson..." (it was Michael Johnson)

National soccer game: "42nd minute and still nobody made scoreboard happy" (result was 0-0)

World Cup Soccer 1998: Serbian commentator was, during all game between Yugoslavia and Iran, referring to Iranians as "Peruvians"

one of my favourites:

World Cup Soccer 2002 (Croatia was probably worst in history at that time): Stjepan Balog, Croatian TV commentator is covering match between Tunisia and Russia: "Can you imagine match between Croatia and Tunisia? If they would play for 90 days score would still be 0-0"

World Cup Skiing: Austrian skier misses gate and falls pretty badly...that means that Croatian Janica Kostelic is world champion - commentator screams loudly for some time "JANICA KOSTELIC!!!! JANICA KOSTELIC!!!! GOLD FOR CROATIA!!!!!"...then he almost whispers..."Of course, we are not happy that Austrian skier didn't finished race...", and then again "JANICA KOSTELIC!!!!...."

World Cup Soccer 2002: South Africa-Slovenia: "This match is as interesting as watching grass grow" (ZELJKO VELA)

Yugoslavian national soccer match: "Almost packed crowd, around 40,000 dinars on the stadium" (dinar is yugoslavian currency, and there was, of course, 40,000 spectators /ticket was not 1 dinar, so he wasn't trying to be funny/)

Crvena Zvezda (Serbia) - Koln (Germany), European champions league 1990: "What a great save by Ljukovcan!!! Ljukovcan gives very clear message to Germans - no goals today!!! Wait...what happened...let's see why Germans are hugging...it seems it was goal after all, I am sorry"


After Croatian swimmer Duje Draganja won silver medal in 50 meters freestyle:

"Duje Draganja won silver, but he won gold!! Because, who can actually measure one hundredth of a second?"

"Dear viewers, feel free to sing "Lijepa nasa" over American anthem" (during medal ceremony, "Lijepa nasa" is Croatian anthem)

Waterpolo tournament:

"If we will play remaining games like we played today, we will certainly grab a medal" (after Croatia LOST with Hungary 8-11)

"So, we can say that this match ends 6-6, since only way Americans can score a goal in 7 seconds is that our player gets expulsion, and no way someone can be so irresponsible" (at this moment croatian player gets expulsion, and USA scores winning goal"

"Well, at least we can say that scenario from USA-Croatia game will not be repeated today" (during match Croatia-Russia 8:9, where Russians scored final goal in last second after another Croatian foul)

"Well, f*ck it!!" (at the end of Croatia-Russia game - he really said it Very Happy)

"It's not nice to lose from Australians, that are not strong in waterpolo, but with only 8 players available it's not strange at all. Waterpolo is very tough game, and without many substitutes you can't play for full 28 minutes" (his comment on a game in which Australia took lead 3-0 after 5 minutes)
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Reply Tue 14 Sep, 2004 12:33 pm
Those are funny, MOU!

Reminded me of World Cup '78, when Pelé made rounds of visits/commentaries to several TV stations during matches.
On the Mexico-Germany game, 20 minutes had passed, Germany was already winning 2-0, and Pelé arrived to make the comments for Mexican TV:
"Well, Mexico makes the footballing and Germany makes the goals".

In 1962, Mexico and Spain were in a 0-0 tie, and the narrator said: "Only a minute left. We have a cornerkick in our favor. It seems that Mexico has got it's first point in this World Cup." The Spanish defense recovered the ball, then a pass to Peiró, a cross that is rejected by our Jaúregui, the ball falls into Gento's right foot, shoot, goal, end of game. The narrator continues with a phrase that made him famous all of his life: "Ladies and gentlemen: the last minute also lasts 60 seconds".

We also have a narrator who gets weary wth scoreless games. "It's the 25th minute of the second half and the guest hasn't arrived".
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Reply Wed 15 Sep, 2004 12:22 am
hehe...I just thought of some more...

"This competitor comes from San Marino, small island in the middle of Atlantic Ocean" Very Happy

"50,000 spectators on the stands...Imagine that, 100,000 hands" ????? Smile

Now, one of the greatest quotes by Sreto Scepanovic, legendary bosnian commentator

"Our Svetomir Belic is in black shorts, while his opponent, Motungu from Kenia, is in white shorts" (hm, yeah, when Bosnian and Kenian are boxing, you just have to make difference by their shorts Smile )

Milojko Pantic, serbian commentator, was our hero in ex Yugoslavia...I think we would all watch fencing, chess or synchronized swimming if he was commentator...legendary are his comments made because of complete lack of knowledge

"Winning goal for Juventus was scored from penalty spot by Sulrigore" (in Italian language - "sul rigore" means "from penalty spot")

"And young Minutes with number 22 will enter the game" (it's substition in 22nd MINUTE, game Spain-Yugoslavia)

Stjepan Balog, Croatian TV:

"He is the youngest referree on Championship. He is born 1978th, so he is 28 now".
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Reply Wed 15 Sep, 2004 12:31 am
"This is Kasia Berquist, tiny Swedish high jumper...her mother travels to all competitions with her...and here's John Godina, look at him, he doesn't need parents to protect him"

"Fourth point by Savic, Lithuania-Serbia 7:3" (Savic is Serbian player)
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Reply Wed 15 Sep, 2004 12:40 am
oh fbaezer!

televisa commentators also refer to the goal as your majesty...

and I found Chavez' "chinguen a su madre, cabrones" (roughly translated as "**** your mom, [plural curse noun]") very funny.
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