"Green"

I wrote this awhile ago and posted it on another site to get feedback. Let me know what you think about it please.

"Green"

Cherie walked through the door of her home with a smile on her face and a song in her heart.

She had just been shopping and all in the world seemed right. Brad had been feeling much better this morning and actually smiled at her as she walked out of the room on her way to the store. She had to leave him this morning to pick up some necessities and maybe just a few extra special treats for him.

You see, Brad was diagnosed with cancer 6 months ago to this very day. The doctor had said that it was cancer of the prostate but had traveled through his bloodstream and attacked his bone marrow. The treatments were extremely painful and Brad seemed to be doing so very badly for quite a long time.

Cherie remembered the way she felt after she had heard the doctor's last sentence.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this Brad, but you have maybe 4 months left. 6 if you are lucky".

She looked at Brad, searching his green eyes for a sign of hope. At that moment she felt completely helpless. She saw no hope in that sea of green.

You see, it was Brad's eyes that had attracted her to him in the first place. She could remember that day in the grocery store like it was yesterday. She was in the ice cream aisle, picking out her favorite brand of Ben and Jerry's. She lifted the last container of Wavy Gravy out of the freezer and was about to put it into her cart when she heard,

"Hey, wait a minute, that's the last one. I want it too."

She turned to her side and looked up into the most beautiful green eyes that she had ever seen and they were surrounded by a rather handsome and rugged looking face. She was sure that he was wearing contact lenses.

"But it's the last one, I want it", she had replied.

"Wanna share?" Brad had replied. Before she knew it she was mesmerized by all that deep green. Her knees felt weak. Her heart started pumping faster. She stumbled over the words as she tried to spit them out.

"Sure, uh....Ok....why not?"

Brad had finished shopping with her and had sat at the picnic table outside the store sharing the ice cream with her and having a fabulous conversation. She missed most of it because she was lost in all that green. She actually had found out through steering the conversation around, that his eye color was natural. She was in love.

Now all she saw in those beautiful eyes was death, and it was staring right back at her. Her world fell apart and her hopes came crashing to the ground. 4 months! How was she going to show him how much she loved him in 4 months? How could she possibly do everything that she wanted to do with him in 4 months? Her world came screeching to a halt. Her tears seemed to never end, and her hopes and dreams became a faded memory of "what ifs" and "how comes".

She didn't remember driving home from the doctor's office that day. She didn't remember anything that happened during the next 36 hour stretch where it seemed that sorrow was so near; sleep so far away; death right around the corner. Then Brad finally reached her. He clawed through her shell with those green eyes and the only other thing that he had left...... Love.

He cuddled her and reassured her. He hypnotized her with his eyes and promised her he would beat the illness so they could live the kind of life that they wanted to. He reassured her that he would live so their love would not die. She remembered looking up into his earnest, boyish gaze and quietly agreeing that she would help him. She knew full well that she would be disappointed in this, as she was in all things that gave her joy and ultimately disappeared. She would watch that light in his eyes very carefully over the next 4 months.

They saw doctors. Brad had treatments. His condition became worse because that's what chemo does to you. It brings you to the brink of death hoping that the bad cells die before the good ones do. She endured because Brad did. He took his treatment like a man and never complained even when his hair fell out and he lost much of his mobility. Even when he was too weak to make it to the bathroom and she had to help him go, right there in the bed. Even when the light in his eyes started to go dim.

He never lost his dignity or his pride.

And he started to get better. The treatments were working.

So, as she unloaded the groceries onto the kitchen table, she gave a "I'm home Brad!" to her sweetheart. She also gave him a "I'll be there in a minute with a surprise!", this last sentence a sing songy rendition of a schoolgirls giggle. She scooped the Wavy Gravy into a bowl and began her journey into the living room where his bed had been set up for his ease of mobility. She loved sharing ice cream with Brad. She would let him feed it to her while she looked into his eyes. As she came through the doorway she sang "Look what I have for you....ou".

As she approached the bed she was slowed by Brad's posture. He wasn't sitting up smiling at her or watching TV. He wasn't answering her sing song conversation with his "you sound just like a little girl" look that she was so accustomed to. He wasn't reading or going through bills.

He was sideways on the bed, half hanging off, arms askew, motionless.

Cherie stood there for a moment registering what she was seeing. Her emotions were in shock and she was overloaded with a mix of fear and confusion. She dropped the ice cream at her feet and never even noticed as it spilled all over the carpet. It was like she never had the bowl to begin with.

"BRAD!!!!"

She rushed over to the bed and lifted him back up onto his pillow. She looked into his face and desperately tried to assess the situation. "Let's see, what had the doctor said I should do in case of an emergency? Is he breathing? Oh, Brad please be breathing". She bent over and listened at his mouth. She could hear her heart beating wildly, but she could hear no breath. "CPR! I'll give him CPR!". She was just about to grab the pillow from behind his head when she got a good look at his eyes. The light was gone. Only black was left. Black as deep as forever. Black as dark as death.

She started to cry as she picked up the phone. Her fingers were shaking as she dialed....9--1--1. She listened for a ring and as she did, she scanned his body looking at him for possibly the last time. She saw his hair all messed up like a young boy who has just gotten out of bed. She saw his chest, no longer rising and falling with air, but still, and a mere shell of the strong boy she fell in love with. She saw his hands. The hands of a skilled lover who took her to the brink of ecstasy time and time again. She saw the darkness.

"CLICK".

911 OPERATOR: "Broward county 911, is this an emergency?"

She saw the paper pressed between his fingers. "Where did that come from?", she thought. She reached for it, and through a tear stained haze, began to read.

911 OPERATOR: "Hello? This is Broward county 911, what is your emergency?"

To my loving wife, Cherie.

Words cannot express the strength and passion you have shown me over the last 6 months. May the next 6 months be just as nice. This is my tribute to you. I love you.


"Flowers that blossom, so pretty and full,
Winds that whisper, soft as wool,
A sunset of beauty at the end of the day,
You remind me of these things, in your own special way."

911 OPERATOR "Do you need the aid of the police? Is everything ok? Please state your emergency."

She read on......

"Walking softly on a summer afternoon,
A warm autumn night sitting under the moon,
The sweet smell of air in the middle of May,
You remind me of these things, in your own special way."

She was openly weeping now and she dropped the phone to the floor. She hadn't even heard the 911 operator's frantic pleas for her to state her emergency. She immersed herself in Brad's last letter.

"The way you smile, so soft and bright,
Your eyes that sparkle as dark as the night,
As intense as all of the things that you say.
You remind me of these things, in your own spec...."

It ended.

She follows the pencil trail off of the paper and realizes that Brad expired in mid word. She is bawling violently now, her body shaking and heaving with every sob. Memories of Brad flash through her mind at a frame a second and it seems as if she is remembering everything that has happened to them in their lifetime as just a fleeting moment.

After a minute or two she looks around the room, glances down at the floor and spots the phone. Puzzled, she picks it up and places it to her ear.

911 OPERATOR: "Ma'am are you all right? Is everything ok? I can hear you crying. Don't worry; the police are on the way".

Cherie listens intently, composes herself and considers her options. Speaking very clearly through her torrent of tears she recites these words,

"That's it. No more green. It's gone forever. Only black now. I'll spend just a little more time with my husband, if you don't mind."

The paramedics found her about 12 minutes later. Her head was resting gently on his unmoving chest. Her warm fingers intertwined with his cold dead ones. Her eyes searching his for color. The phone was sitting in her lap still connected to the 911 operator. She was repeating the same phrase over and over....

"No green......only black......no green......only black."