What would today be?

missing information

1.1. Let’s first try to imagine at least one plausible real-life context wherein the above conditional sentence could be pronounced (a story I’d call :”An unforgotten birthday”) :

1) Samuel is waking up muddle-headed after a night of heavy partying.

2) “What day is it today?” he’s asking himself “Oh, today must be Sunday".

3) Then he sees the POST-IT on the wall : “Don’t forget Stacy’s birthday, this week Saturday!”

4) “Oh my”, he cries out, “I forgot her birthday, that was Saturday, YESTERDAY!"

5) Then he hears on the radio: “Hurricane Hugo is expected to hit the South-Florida coast TOMORROW Saturday…”

6) “Hey, wait a minute,” he starts, “ IF (Saturday which I initially thought to be) YESTERDAY *WAS* TOMORROW, …

7) … (then) today would be Friday,… and not Sunday as I initially thought.”

8) He jumps out of bed and hurries out to buy Stacy a magnificent birthday present to offer her tomorrow, on Saturday...

IMPORTANT REMARK: in the crucial conditional clause nr.(6) “ *WAS* ” became a shorthand for “were indeed to be(come)”, “actually turned out to be “

1.2. In my story the answer to “When did Samuel speak?” is “ Friday”, though initially he THOUGHT he was waking up on Sunday, until that idiosyncratic vague awareness was replaced by the much more widely socially sanctioned (conventional) “truth” on the radio…

This sort of thing is great if you are stoned, but I gave up smoking that stuff years ago.