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If you knew then ...

 
 
ehBeth
 
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 11:19 am
let's imagine we're 16 or 18 or 25 or 40 ...

what would you do differently if you had a re-do? different career choice? different worries/concerns? fewer worries/concerns? different relationship / lifestyle choices?
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Type: Question • Score: 14 • Views: 2,589 • Replies: 67

 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 11:23 am
@ehBeth,
would / should I have married one of the first men who asked? maybe. only one I possibly regret and even then I'm not sure as his children are spectacular

career stuff ... if I'd understood what occupational therapists do 40 years ago, it would have been a good educational direction for me. when I graduated and discovered, should I have quit my job and gone back to school? it was hard to think of giving up income after years of broke broke broke but ...
0 Replies
 
Tes yeux noirs
 
  3  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 11:27 am
I would do everything exactly the same. You learn how to live by making mistakes and being yourself. The knowledge you have later on is dearly bought.
0 Replies
 
saab
 
  3  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 11:32 am
Maybe I did what I thought was the right thing to do at that time.
If I regret it now what concequences would that lead to? Regretting things which cannot be changed probably would for me lead to a psychologist.
No, I made up mind, lived the way I thought was right and did my best to be content and have a good time with people being close to me.
0 Replies
 
Robert Gentel
 
  5  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 11:34 am
@ehBeth,
1) I would have started saving money instead of only starting recently. Starting a bit earlier makes sooooo much difference and I'd have a nest egg that would help me worry less about the ups and downs I've had. I'm hammering this into my younger brothers and sisters.

2) I wish I didn't learn to properly brush my teeth till my 30s (small details I had wrong but still). I wish I cared more about tooth care earlier but once you approach 30 and experience a dentist a few times you gain strong motivation.

3) I wish I had learned about the negative affects of anxiety earlier. I cultivated stress most of my life, seeking out sensation and enjoying burning the candle at both ends. Now I understand that this is so very physically harmful to me and I'm paying the toll in many physiological ways.

4) I wish I learned earlier to shun my abrasive aspects of my personality. In recent years I have stopped justifying myself by being "technically correct" and instead sought to act in ways that produce results that I want (i.e. not pissing others off or irritating them, even if they might be doing me wrong) and now I can spend a year without losing my temper or letting emotions get stronger than they should. It's made a huge and positive difference in my life.

5) I wish I exercised throughout my early adulthood instead of just being sedentary and getting fatter. Exercise has been one of the most positive things for my mind and body.

6) I wish I had learned that meditation and mindfulness is not spiritual bullshit like I thought it was, and that it is scientific and incredibly helpful. It is difficult for me still and I'm a novice but the benefits are profound.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 11:40 am
@Robert Gentel,
#5 speaks to me

I was a pretty serious swimmer into my 30's and then quit to do other interesting things

I recently returned to swimming, in part as cross-training for my dance. For weeks after I got back to the pool all I could think about was how much I'd missed swimming. Great for physical fitness but mostly it makes me goddammmmm happy.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 11:49 am
I wouldn't have beaten myself up so much for not fitting into the corporate world. I was not tailored of that cloth. I never have been. It was a waste (and a rather stressful one, I might add) to try.
0 Replies
 
snood
 
  4  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 11:51 am
Yeah, I know the whole "I wouldn't do anything differently, because all that made me what I am today" spiel, and there's of course truth to that, but that's really not the point of this thread.

I would definitely leave aside all the antics I did in junior and senior high, trying to entertain or be cool. I would use more of that energy toward my studies - exerting myself to impress with my grades instead of my jokes. That would have given me a better variety of choices for college. That goes for college also - I would have done more than just try to be a party boy - graduate in 4 years and pursue a career wholeheartedly. I feel like I wasted time and potential, just like the teachers used to say in their comments on report cards.

I would have taken a couple of beatings rather than run from a couple of guys who bullied me when I was small. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of making me run.

I would have paid more attention to the nice sweet girls instead of the fast popular ones.

I would value myself and my friendship more, so that I didn't spend any time with people who were interested in nothing and going nowhere.


Tes yeux noirs
 
  2  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 12:07 pm
Given that nobody can actually go back to being themselves at an earlier time, such a "what would you do?" question actually examines how you feel about yourself now.
snood
 
  2  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 12:13 pm
@Tes yeux noirs,
Yes, it IS a given that no one time travels. So is your contribution to this thread simply to continue stating the obvious, or to just make everyone feel better?
0 Replies
 
Tes yeux noirs
 
  0  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 12:21 pm
Snood, maybe you could go and pound sand?
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 12:29 pm
@snood,
I wasn't trying to impress anyone with my grades, but I might have been a tiny bit less focussed on them when I was younger. I was having fun but maybe a bit too much of a keener in school.
0 Replies
 
snood
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 12:32 pm
@Tes yeux noirs,
LOL backatcha
Hey, if I may ask, what is the significance of your moniker "Your black eyes"?
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 12:36 pm
@snood,
step around it, eh Wink

works nicely
snood
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 12:37 pm
@ehBeth,
Getting too old for the fighting...
Although it's true I'll still muster the energy to stir up some **** sometimes Very Happy
0 Replies
 
Tes yeux noirs
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 01:01 pm
@snood,
Quote:
what is the significance of your moniker "Your black eyes"?

It's the title of a 1985 song by the French rock band Indochine. I have been a big fan for years. They are often described as "Gothic rock". Spot Serge Gainsbourg in the video...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uNZWO7Tc04

PS Thanks for being a good sport.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 01:04 pm
@Tes yeux noirs,
same song? (your link won't work in Canada)

0 Replies
 
Tes yeux noirs
 
  0  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 01:14 pm
Same song. Maybe one of these links will work...

Apparently Gainsbourg directed the video (I never knew before).

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3ps4d_indochine-tes-yeux-noirs-1985_music

http://mherovid.host/stream/-uNZWO7Tc04

http://www.vidivodo.com/indochine-tes-yeux-noirs-music-video


0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  4  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 01:31 pm
If I was sixteen again I probably wouldn't burp the entire lyrics of You're The One That I Want to Kathy Jenkins.

(I nearly puked up half way through.)
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 01:39 pm
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:

let's imagine we're 16 or 18 or 25 or 40 ...

what would you do differently if you had a re-do? different career choice? different worries/concerns? fewer worries/concerns? different relationship / lifestyle choices?


Here goes...

At 16 I would have considered becoming an emancipated minor. If I decided not to do that, I would have moved out of my home within 5 minutes of becoming 18.
I would have moved away from the NE, as I find it toxic to my general well being.

I would have taken up some type of vocation I found mentally and emotionally satisfying, and after getting some experience at it, open my own business.

I think at some point during that time I would have become an RN only because you can always get some work with that license. It would totally be a backup. I talking doing visits to make enough to get by while pursuing something else.

I don't know that I would have ever married. Not because of lack of love, but because if I had followed the above course, I think so many of my emotional needs would have been met.

Would have bought a home sooner, and paid it off as quickly as I could. It would have a guest house in the back to either use as my business, or to rent out to someone who needed it to run their business out of.

I would have understood work is not the meaning of life, and lived a simple happy life.

0 Replies
 
 

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