I need some living advice

Wow they quoted me way more, im in CT. Ill check.again, now that i have some good clean driving history under my.belt. thanks jane

Thats my kinda slogan!

So true, thats why im so glad i got it finally. Ive been applying everywhereeee even places i dont care to work for! Because i just need a full time gig!!! Period.. I know im about to get one

And thats some inpiration right there man thats gonna be me, 7$ a day sounds about right.


Yes exactly just gotta think it all through and be cautious. Amen chai, amen.

To piggy-back on CJ's advise, you can also look in the newspaper to see if there are people looking for roommates.

From reading your post, it sounds like you are letting pride take complete control of your life. I gather that you feel that you are too good to ask for help from family. I guess it must be beneath you to accept food stamp or government assistance. I guess you view people who ask for help to be lowlife freeloaders. There is a huge difference of asking others for help when you truly need it and taking advantage of others. You could always ask to temporarily live with a family member and offer to contribute something to the household. If you have loving family members, they would work with you to help you get on your feet. You can also apply for food stamp, job training programs, housing assistance, and any other available government assistance to help you get on your feet.

There are people that are more fortunate than others for a number of different reasons. There are also people that are a lot less fortunate for a number of different reasons. I am blessed and fortunate to have a good paying job, house, car, and career. Back in the 1970s when I was a kid my single mom and us kids were not so fortunate. There was a time when my mom was on food stamps. There was a period of years my mom had to work two jobs to provide for me and my siblings. There were times when me, my mom, and my siblings had to live with my grandmother and my aunt when we had no place to go.

Now, I am a grown man closed to 50 years old. I have been on my own since I was 19. Growing up poor, I know what it means to need help. There is no shame. Get help wherever you can. If for any reason that I were to ever fall on hard times for any number of reasons I would have no problem seeking government assistance in my time of need. That government assistance is what I pay my taxes for. The safety net or lifeline is paid for by all taxpayers for people who need that help. There is no shame in asking for help.

Also, I was blessed to have loving family that helped us in our time of need.

Real Music....just...wow.

Not in particular to you Real Music, and not at all denying that living in your car temporarily is not an ideal situation, but quite frankly, I can't believe how it seems people are so fearful and pessimistic about the fact that someone feels they can totally take care of themselves, has thought it out, and is bouncing ideas off others.

But, in particular to you Real Music....I've not heard this guy say a word about thinking he's too good to accept help, how he's being prideful about anything, how people who ask for help are low life freeloaders, etc.
He's already mentioned friends, cooking at their house maybe, etc. His aunt has indicated his time with her is done. He's been there a year, don't know why things aren't working out well enough for him to stay, none of my business. But she's made it clear she would like him out, like yesterday.

I don't know, maybe it's a mindset. One of, "it's ok, I can do this for as long as it takes, I think I've covered all the bases, and mostly, I'm not afraid to do it, because if it doesn't work, I'll try something else." Doesn't matter if it's temporarily living in your car, having to work 2 jobs for awhile to pay off bills, or the thousand other things people do day to day to make their life work. Doesn't even mean you have to be miserable doing it.

Frankly, I admire people who can look at the practicalities of a situation, not sugarcoat it, and still say, "I can do this" It's not being prideful, it's being an intelligent, problem solving human.

As another person in their 50's I can say something I've learned about people. There is no one, and I mean no one, who's living in any sort of house, big or small, any sort of situation, that I'd want to trade places with. Over and over I've learned that the person living in that nice house has problems I wouldn't want to deal with, who are miserable, in bad relationships, in debt, problems with kids, etc etc. But from the outside looking in, it all looks hunky dory. We all have issues, you don't want mine, I don't want yours.

Just talking for me, I'd be miserable staying more than a very limited time at a friends house, and I mean under ideal circumstances where you're just visiting.
Maybe a lot of people don't mind getting up and facing others while you're half asleep, sharing their accomodations, having to put on your "thanks so much for helping me, I couldn't do it without you" face, trying to keep out of their way so as not to wear out your welcome, etc.

Honestly, besides the concern of parking somewhere safe and unoticed in the middle of the night, life would go on, if not ideally, then well enough for the duration. Uncomfortable and inconvenient someone said? Well god forbid. I for one wouldn't want to be inconvenienced or uncomforable for a few weeks or month.

Actually, this could be a time of discovery for someone. Really having the time to watch others, think about them, and yourself, and how it all fits together.

Something to discuss, beside the aready covered aspect of finding rotating spots where you won't be hassled, and considering in CT there's going to be a few months of tolerable weather, what is so horrible?

You get a spray bottle and fill with vinegar to spray down the insides daily so it won't smell funky. You keep yourself clean. You have a twin size bed area to sleep in, and a cell phone alarm to wake you up early enough to get to the gym to exercise and shower before work, and get dressed. You have a box in the trunk with all your clothes folded neatly, just like in your drawers in a house. You have a dirty laundry bag you keep sealed. You stop at a supermarket daily, buy about $10 to $15 of good food. There's plenty of places to stop and use the bathroom. When you're not working or looking for that full time job, you're not sitting in a house. You're in a park, a library, taking a walk, watching people, all while you are showered and wearing clean clothes. You go in a coffee shop and for $2 you get a coffee and charge your phone and/or ipad and laptop....or you do that at your work. You meet people, talk to them. Get job leads from them. You don't have to announce to them you sleep in your car. That's the thing, you're not living in your car, you're sleeping in your car. When you're not sleeping you are doing the same things you could very well be doing if you had 4 walls around you.

You know, people come on here with issues and "problems" like "does he like me?" "he hasn't texted me back, what do you think is wrong" , "I'm having an affair and I don't know if my wife is too" and all sorts of dumb crap. Over complicated lives, because priorities are askew.

People post threads about tiny houses where you sleep in a coffin size area you climb up a ladder to get to, and take a dump about 6 inches away from where you cook your food, and so many people think that's so marvelous. Talk about uncomfortable and inconveient. Like no one could break into that shoebox and mess you up.

I don't know, it's like you slap a cute or negative label on something and suddenly it's all right, or unthinkable.

The fact of the matter is, we all know someone that lives in their car, or uses public facilites, or some other thing that doesn't fit into our idea of acceptable. We just aren't aware of it. They're not being prideful, they just know how to keep it in the road.

Was in that spot myself. Could not afford insurance but had to have transportation. My solution was a motorcycle for transportation (no insurance requirement in my state). Used less gas too.

In the longer term, learn to be as self sufficient as possible. 'Stuff' is cheaper than ever but service is expensive. Learn to fix everything yourself. Consider building your own house. Avoid debt. Interest is money lost.

Ok, this was something I remember from when I went out last night, near midnight, and just now, around noon.


I had to drop by this small office building to leave some papers for someone to sign off on this morning. I drove over there just about midnight. It's this funky little office building where there is one office on the first floor, and all these little broom closet size offices on the 2nd floor for business (like the one I do billing for) that just need a little space for whatever reason. There's a private detective next to ours, then there's a massage therapist who I've met, who meets maybe 5 clients there a week, besides her day job, some building contractors who just need a spot for people to come pick up their paychecks, etc.

Anyway, I pulled into the parking lot, the building was dark, I know I was the only one there. Yet, there were 3 or 4 cars parked in there. Now, the back of the building has apartments. Like I said, it's a funky building. But the cars weren't parked where the apartment people would be. Why were they there? Who knows? I've been there at midnight before, and there's been no cars, or one there. Friends staying over at one of the apartments? Don't know, what do I care. Anyway, I doubt in the extreme any police officer came by between then and dawn to go around and shine lights into any of the vehicles. They've got better things to do around here.
When driving home, in my neighborhood there were random cars parked, I'm sure not all of them belonging specifically to the person living there. There was a car I didn't recognize parked halfway between my house and a neighbors. Did I panic and call the police? Nope, just a car, probably a friend visiting across the street, someone's girlfriend or boyfriend. Who cares?

I stopped by again just now to pick up the papers from last night, and decided to drive through the neighbor back there. More of the same situation. Apartment buildings with parking lots, but a car here and there parked on the street. Looking down side streets on my way home, more of the same in my hood.
I can't imagine that the police in the middle of the night, the one time they drive down some quiet neighborhood street, is going to get out of their cars and check out each or any of the dark vehicles parked where it doesn't look like it's hiding, but at the same time isn't in anyone's way. A person pulls up at 10 or 11 at night when people are getting ready for, or in bed, and leaves as the sun is coming up, is probably not going to get approached by police, or someone walking there dog in the middle of the night.

On (Joedoe6) post, dated Monday 4 April 7:28pm he stated he's "Not even after food stamps or other BS government".

I took offense to the fact that he claimed that government assistance such food stamps as being BS.

Government assistance such as food stamps is a lifeline for millions of people who truly are in need of assistance. To belittle the millions of people who are grateful for that lifeline is insensitive and heartless to say the very least. There are millions of families who don't wish to be on food stamps. They are on food stamps or housing assistance out of the necessity of keeping a roof over their heads and food for their families. These people and families are in the most dire and desperate of circumstances. I would hope that a generous and kindhearted society would want their government to help those people in the most desperate circumstances.

So, when (Joedoe6) had referred to food stamps and government assistance as being BS, I will take it upon myself to stand up for people on food stamps. These people are human beings who are doing the best they can to provide for themselves and their families.

There can be all kinds of unfortunate circumstances that could put a person or family in need of government assistance. I believe that (Joedoe6) circumstance is clearly one those cases. He shouldn't be a shame to seek out government housing assistance. He shouldn't be a shame to apply for food stamp. We all pay our taxes as a society to help people who are truly in need of government assistance. At some point he may no longer need government assistance. But for now, it may prove to be beneficial to help him get on his feet.

But if he prefers to not live in government housing where he may not feel as safe, or feels he can adequately feed himself without foodstamps, where is the harm in that, and where does that make him prideful, feeling like he's better than anyone, or feels he's ok with getting by on his own, just needing some advice.

If he's young, which I think he is, he probably doesn't know the extent of government assistance, and in any event you extrapolated that to him also not wanting help from relatives (he's been living with one for a year) or friends (he has friends he can cook food at) So from the fact he said he didn't care to apply for gov't assistance (his choice, may or may not have anything to do with pride, may not be aware he can get anything, and in any event, he most likely would not get much, you project that he's unwilling to ask for help in any way?

It can take up to 30 days to get food stamps. The waiting list for government housing is long, and he may not want to live in one of those places anyway. Sure, there are immediate homeless shelters, but if you ask around, a lot of people don't want to stay there, because that is where you get all your things stolen, there are drug addicts hanging around front all day, and where women are afraid of getting molested. I've had more than a few homeless (some who live in their cars) tell me they are safer doing that. Both men and women. I've been in homeless shelters (not living there) and seen the fights break out over god knows what, the people sitting and avoiding eye contact because that migh get something started, and people slipping in and out after buying drugs. Are these all the people there? Of course not. But frankly, compared to that, you're safer in your car in the middle of a quiet neighborhood.


Here's a young man being pro-active, willing and able make temporary changes to get ahead. Not saying there's any shame in asking for help, but I don't think it's fair your take 2 letters he said "BS", and turning that into the idea he's prideful, won't ask friends/relatives for help (untrue) or any of that.

Frankly, I'm impressed with this fellow for thinking ahead about how he has a gym membership to use for hygeine, how he's looking for full time work, how he already figured out he has to stay low key and careful.

I like that he didn't assume that because he was going to spend 8 hours sleeping in his car a night that it doomed him to eating fried chicken wings 3 times a day, or had to walk around in dirty clothes, or would be filthy enough that he would attract the attention of the police.
I like that he has a job and brings in $800 a month, and wants to do better. I like that he has never bemoaned how terrible his life is, and that he's looking at it positively in that "I can totally do this" I like how he as noticed things like "yeah I need a cooler"

Anyway, what's to keep him from applying for food stamps if he changes his mind? He's got a mailing address. This is a work in progress. He might find out from someone, you or me even, that it might be something he should try.

Just what if he doesn't feel he's personally in need of gov't assistance, and feels he can get along fine in reduced circumstances for awhile?

I don't see an ungrateful person, or one that is unintelligent or lazy, or with bad morals. He's concerned about letting his aunt know about this because she might be afraid for him. He's done thinking about how to plan this. He's working. He's accepted help offered in case he needs to cook food.

Personally, I think whatever this guy decides to do, he's going to be just fine.

If he does live in his car for awhile, he'll have the cred in the future to say to someone "Don't tell me you can't do it, I lived in my car for 3 months and I'm fine"

Exactly how does everyone think pioneers got from one side of the county to the other? In a really uncomfortable wooden wagon. With natives that didn't want you there, and would maybe kill you if they got a chance. How have Bedouins managed for thousands of years? What about people that decide to go live in the woods for a few months, that we are think are so great?

This Kid (I hereby dub him the Kid) is going to be fine.

I agree that our government should help people in need, and that includes health care. These are more important than having the largest military in the world.

That was random

I have no other advice other than to say good for you. It is refreshing to see a younger person take responsibility for themselves rather than to just feel entitled to things.

Many people here are bashing him for choosing to live in his car (not an ideal situation by any means) so that he can be self sufficient rather than rely on the government to support him. I find that admirable. Now I am not against someone getting support when needed, but doesn't this show a great deal of responsibility? Why bash him and call him prideful?

In the long run - he is likely to be much better off as he will learn much more about caring for himself than those that rely too much on government handouts. He will end up further along in life than many others as a result.

When I was young and left home at 17 years of age, I had no skills nor prospects. I moved to Chicago, and worked at Louis MeLind Company as a biller earning minimum wage. My apartment was a closet size room with my bed in it.
After about 18 months of seeing no improvement in my life, I volunteered into the USAF. They assigned me to work with conventional and nuclear weapons.
That's the first time in my life somebody showed me I had more to offer than I had ever expected. That improved my confidence.
After my discharge from the air force, I eventually earned my bachelors degree in Accounting, and from there my life improved by about 200%.
I retired early at age 63, and have traveled the world.
When I worked in management and in a position to interview and hire people, I always asked if they worked their way through college. If they did, they were given preference over people with similar qualifications.
I also used to give a test to all applicants on accounting principles. Many with masters degree couldn't provide the correct answer.

I genuinely wish him well. He will be in my prayers. If he is taking classes or going to school, there are government programs and grants to help pay for his education. If he doesn't want that help that's fine. I just want him to have the best chance of making it. If he chooses to live out his car that is his decision. Right now he is having some tough times. I may have came across as if I was piling on. For that I am truly sorry. That wasn't my intent. You may not believe me, but I really care what happens to him. I don't know him. I just want him to know that there is help out there. I've been on my own for the last 30 plus years. I've been truly blessed over that course of time. I am just praying that everything works out for him.

He seems like a really cool guy, pretty together for his age. I hope he comes back to this thread and talks further about his plans.

Thanks man, really. But my welcome is overstayed. I could probably push the limits and ask to stay longer, and keep living with her, like my bum ass uncle lol...but its just time to go man, thats all. For my own privacy i wont disclose my business but i have a practical business that everyday people cant live without that will be successful soon. and im not some uneducated, slacker, dweep like.most others my age. I have a **** load of potential my friend. And honestly, i can handle it. I just gotta pay attention to detail.. But ive taken too much help already, i gotta leave (grew up.in foster care as it is)

I didnt mean to bash anyone who.accepts any assistance. And im not really ashamed, its just never been something i thought about using...Maybe some of my feelings about state assistance are due to where im from & im just biased now from seeing soooo many lazy people and mooches living off the state year after year... But yeah, i guess food stamps would help me save a little more. Thanks

Exactly layin low is the name of the game. Im ready to leave and start this journey in about a month or so

Hello fellow night owl.

I think it would be facinating for you to journal your experience here. How you're getting along, where you sleep, what you do during the day.

I'm sure a lot of people would follow your story.