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Sat 14 Aug, 2004 06:45 pm
My new husband has a child by a former girlfriend. He pays child support (not court ordered) and they have an official, unwritten visitation agreement in which my husband has the child every other weekend but his ex may decide at the last minute not to allow him to have the child. She is frequently late to meet us to pick up the child or to deliver him to us without calling.
My husband is on an emotional roller coaster because we never know what the child's mother will pull next. He has an attorney who is doing NOTHING for him. He had a deposition and requested to speak with his lawyer before the deposition but the lawyer never made time to speak with him so he was unsure how to respond to some of the questions. The child's mother frequently takes drugs as do the people in the household but the lawyer won't request a drug test.
Questions:
Shouldn't we have a formal visitation agreement?
I paid the attorney a retainer but, if he's not doing anything for us, can't we fire him, get our money back and go to another attorney? (The attorney says no.)
Shouldn't the attorney have already moved for emergency custody for my husband based on the drug issue?
Any help is appreciated. We have a hearing in September but the attorney is telling us we shouldn't expect to get custody ....
Thanks!
Alli
Unquestionably you need a formal visitation arrangement.
I think a new attorney might be a good idea. When you talk with your present attorney, mutter "Bar Association".
In fact, before you talk to your present attorney, call your local Bar Association (look in the phone book for the telephone number or check with your county courthouse) and ask them about prevailing fees and expected action.
You can fire the lawyer--you may or may not get your money back. Talk to the Bar Association about your rights.
Obviously your husband and the mother of his child are not getting along well. If you want custody based on drug use, you have to show proof of drug use--your opinion is not legal proof.
I agree with everything Noddy said. The current attorney sounds like he's not interested in properly representing your husband.
I would like to add that you will need to be careful of how to go about getting proof of the alleged drug by your husband's ex. You will want it to be admissible, so don't let your husband break any laws to acquire the proof. Also, make remind him never to enter her home without a neutral party or his attorney.
Since the child support is not court ordered, he can stop paying, for now. Of course, this may be an unkindness to the child. However, if the ex really wants child support she will have to take him to court. If your husband follows this course he should ask for a paternity test and scheduled visitation(if the child is really his). If the ex fails to have the child ready for visitation your husband can record this. He should definitely keep records of child support paid.
Whatver course of action you and your husband take I wish you the best of luck.
Contact your local bar association and (a) lodge a formal complaint against your lawyer, (b) find out your rights in terms of getting him fired (it's highly unlikely that you'll get a refund, sorry) and (c) ask for a referral to someone else.
Do not obtain proof of drug abuse yourself. This is for an expert - a doctor - to do. You cannot just run into someone's home and check it for crack pipes. You need to get a court order. This is going to have to come from your new lawyer filing a motion with the court. This is not the time to bend the rules; you've got to follow them to get what you want.
I do not recommend cancelling child support payments - you want to show the court that your husband is the responsible one in this equation.
Thanks for your input ..
Thanks all ..
We would not consider discontinuing child support as we believe it is our responsibility and that it's in his son's best interest obviously.
I'm surprised to hear that we might not be entitled to a refund of the retainer if the attorney doesn't have enough billable hours or expenses to warrant keeping the retainer paid.
RE the drug concerns, we had expected the attorney to request a drug test. We'd never risk unlawful action that would endanger our chances of custody or visitation.
We're meeting with the attorney on Wednesday and we're also having consultations with other attorneys to see what our options are. We hate to change attorneys at this point because it will probably delay our hearing on custody but, we don't want to risk losing custody by having ineffective counsel.
We will definitely be calling the Bar Association ... and, yes, we've been keeping a log of our interactions with the child's mother and with our attorney.
Thanks again for all your input.
Alli
I am in the state of georgia also i would say your boyfriend should stop paying the child support even if he is keeping the receipts if she does file through the state for support they will say the money he paid was a gift. She may also be able to file for back support which he will have to pay all the way back to the time the child was born for all time him and the mother did not live in the same household. Regarding the visitation he needs to at least try to have her come to a agreement and have it notarized or present it to his attorney( and a word of advice make sure when he gets a visitation order that it is put in there ENFORCEABLE BY POLICE DEPARTMENT) I am going thru this now with my daughter who is 11 and her father showed up at 11:30 at night to take her for visitation when I called the police they came out but stated it was a civil issue they were only there to provide a courtesy in case a domestic dispute became of it. My child was taken in the middle of the night in her pajamas. and a word of advice about the attorney most atttorneys will allow free consulatation even phone consultation so I think he should call a couple and see if they can help out more with his case.
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