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Sun 8 Aug, 2004 02:30 pm
... He was speaking to her nervously while moving his thick finger in her face:"listen lady, when ( Jason) asks for a room, he gets it".The old woman said firmly:"I have got nothing , so, go back to the bar you came from"."who live under your roof won't do you any good, you must know what is the interest...", as the man was saying this, the old woman yelled at him angrily:"get lost before I call the police", but then , he stopped talking when he saw me!
His fierce eyes widened in surprise and he kept looking at me interestingly .had my look been more weird than I thought?! I told him in courtesy :"sir..the lady knows if she wants to rent you a room or not..this is her right".That was what I said, so I won't find his big fist burried in my face, deep to the bottom of my skull.But his reaction was over what I expected.
His face dropped down and he said in a husky voice:"Mida,is this you?".The old lady said in disgusting:"his name is ( Ismaeel), and after all, you have nothing to do with him".But the man kept looking at me and said:"Mida,is this you? do you understand what I'm talking about?",I said as I bigan to suspect his dementia:"not a letter,sir,and the lady is serious about the threat ".He then, turned around and walked away but was still staring at me from up his shoulder, untill he gone out of sight.
For a second , I thought that my magnificent personality was what made him back off,this is the way how the mob should be treated.Then, I realised there was some kind of mystery that I didn't know.Here, I just burst out and yelled at the old woman:"what is the secret of this house?!, ma'm."
question:
1) How can I describe his finger and fist using other adjectives?
I don't have the energy to go over your whole thing but I'll make a few points
1 - use "," instead of ":" before going into speech
2 - nervous is the wrong word, the context shows that he is not nervous, but angry and determined
3 - the context of the sentence describes it well enough like this:
"Listen lady, when Jason asks for a room, he gets it!" he said, waving his finger in her face.
4 - you need to use the word "He" or "Jason" in your sentence where he waves the finger
5 - use [ ] brackets instead of ( ) parenthesis to insert notes into quotes
thanks for your remarks and I wish somebody read what I wrote because I put a lot of effort in it...but thanks anyway