I was in a similar state once. If you want to die badly enough I think I found a method that was satisfactory in all respects. I wrote about it in a thread called "What it feels like at the last moments, before you die?". My posts are on the last page of the thread.
If you Google the method it will say that it isn't possible to die that way. I'd just ask how they found people who wanted to die that badly to test that on.