Reply Tue 3 Aug, 2004 08:26 am
Ufoh the Spinning Disc was lonely
Above a world of beasts. She
Called out to the grazer:

"Cow!" She called.
"My Light will fall upon you.
Come and enter my Womb.
If you come fearlessly you will
Rule the land, yes, rule!
And if you are filled with fear you will
Surely die."

And Cow said: "Moo!"

But Upright Monkey watched and listened from
Beneath the treetops.
And before the Light of Ufoh fell upon the grazer
He slew Cow with a rock and clung to his body.
And he was lifted above the clouds
Into the Womb of Ufoh.

"Now Cow," said Ufoh.
"You are the most peaceloving
Of the beasts. And your voice
Is pleasing to me. Partake of my
Liver and you will share in my Knowledge."

But Cow was heavy upon the ground.
And Upright Monkey stole and devoured the liver.
Mad with overwhelming enlightenment,
He forced Himself through the Womb
Headfirst and fell.

Ths Spinning Disc Ufoh listened to the falling trees
And watched civilization climb to the clouds.

Still to this day Ufoh calls out to the cows
That they might free the world
From Man. But they remember their
Ancestor and rise to the call
Nervous and in fear.
And every one of them dies.

I've been having serious writer's block. This is from late June. I mixed in a few biblical themes, like forbidden fruit, the fall, and reverse Cain and Abel. I made the flying saucer female so she'd be less sterile and tried to mimic the imagery of a sun god/dess. I also did some mirroring from one verse to another. Oh, and I did borrow some biblical language at times.

Actually, my original intention was to write a myth about cattle mutilation but during the development it changed a bit. I posted this at allpoetry but I find the feedback there isn't very helpful.

  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,331 • Replies: 5
No top replies

Reply Tue 3 Aug, 2004 08:30 am
Hey it's interesting!

Where did the liver come from? I may have missed the reference, seems like a prime place to have more symbolism. And a UFO's liver? How does that work?

Maybe something to do with light -- Prometheus, fire, tons o biblical references, plus the main thing you think of regarding UFOs (thank you Mr. Spielberg.) You already use that, of course, and liver is more organic in terms of what you say later about making the UFO less sterile.

Apple would be too obvious.


Interesting, for sure. Will think more.
0 Replies
Reply Tue 3 Aug, 2004 08:47 am
soz: The liver has ancient significance. The hebrew word is related to the word for glory. I gave her a liver in part because I'm trying to make her less sterile and more bio. That's why she has a womb rather than an entry hatch an an extra 'h' at the end of her name. If anything I'm trying to use a different image than the traditional one for the UFO as much as possible.
0 Replies
Reply Tue 3 Aug, 2004 08:49 am
But a liver in her womb...?

Ooh I know... placenta! :-D
0 Replies
Reply Tue 3 Aug, 2004 09:09 am
That's a good point. I'll have to think about that. It would be relinquishing some symbolism, but it also might make a little more sense.

I had envisioned her womb as the inside of the saucer, of her, just a room with fleshy walls.
0 Replies
Reply Tue 3 Aug, 2004 09:16 am
I love it! It sounds like a real story that was passed down.
0 Replies

Related Topics

What inspired you to write...discuss - Discussion by lostnsearching
It floated there..... - Discussion by Letty
Small Voices - Discussion by Endymion
Rockets Red Glare - Discussion by edgarblythe
Short Story: Wilkerson's Tank - Discussion by edgarblythe
The Virtual Storytellers Campfire - Discussion by cavfancier
1st Annual Able2Know Halloween Story Contest - Discussion by realjohnboy
Literary Agents (a resource for writers) - Discussion by Craven de Kere
  1. Forums
  2. » Creation Myth
Copyright © 2024 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 03/04/2024 at 09:29:58