Reply
Mon 26 Jul, 2004 10:24 am
Hi...I am doing some translating now from Arabic to English in order to boost my writing style .What I need now is a little help in regard of vocabulary n grammar n also the good style.
ofcourse I wont post the whole thing but just the sentences wich I have doubts about it .
I really appreciate ur future help for me n I cherish it
NAVIGATOR
This probably should be in English, but we'll be happy to help you anyway, Navigator. Fire ahead!
I will correct as much as you can post
thank you ...all of you n here is my first :
...I heard her shutting up the door voraciously , then I heard the roar of the telephon's dial which means that she is really implementing her threat.But a close strict voice came from nearby to stop her.
as you see the translation form my first language n u r free to comment
I would write it like this:
I heard her closing the door, voraciously. Suddenly, I heard the roar of the telephone's dial. She's going through with her threat, I thought. But then, a strict, familiar voice came from nearby to stop her.
It sounds more dramatic that way, I feel, and fits in a little better with the genre. Other than the changes, I found it good.
You might want to change the word "roar" as it seems a bit too much for the sound of a dial..
I agree. Perhaps 'the telephone's trill' could be used instead of 'the roar of the telephone's dial?'
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace