@MoniqueH,
Quote:Questions: 1. I can't believe it's a man I know, a man I’ve worked with, a man I’ve spent time with. Is it ok to use 2 commas above or should they be semi-colons?
The above looks acceptable to me. In novels, you have some freedom to be creative, as long as it doesn't annoy the reader(s) and the editor doesn't reject it.
Quote:I turn to the Messages Sent folder of his iphone. Do I need Italics for Messages Sent
I dont' think so. The initial caps should be enough. Don't underestimate your readers' intelligence.
Quote:But Joanie; she always believed in me, even when I didn’t myself. Should there be a semi-colon after JOANIE? or something else? Colon? Comma?
Comma. "But Joanie, she..."
Quote:"Do you think he could have . . .” Here the person pauses and doesn't finish the sentence. Is this ok or do we need a question mark? "Do you think he could have . . .?"
I don't have my MLA manual within reach, but I'm pretty sure the question mark is the way to go.
I cover the receiver and mouth Sorry to my friend. Should Sorry be in italics?
Or should it be written like this: I cover the receiver and mouth, "Sorry" to my friend.
I cover the receiver and mouth, "Sorry!" to my friend.
Quote:I pull out the now-dusty packet. Should there be a hyphen between NOW and DUSTY
I like the hyphen, but I have a feeling that it's optional here.
Quote:"It wasn't about that." "I read those messages; that’s exactly what it was about."
Can you use semi-colons like this in DIALOGUE or is it best to use full stops? I see semi-colons more often outside dialogue.
I don't feel comfortable with semicolons in dialogue, but I doubt an editor would object to it.
Quote:“He’s not dangerous in that way, trust me.” Should there be a semi-colon before TRUST ME, even in informal dialogue? How about if it was reversed: "Trust me; he's not dangerous." Or just a comma?
He's not dangerous in that way. Trust me.
Trust me, he's not dangerous.
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