1
   

48 years late

 
 
Reply Tue 15 Sep, 2015 01:45 am
Hi well I've just lost the person I was told was my dad.. my mom won't tell me anything other than his name.. it's quiet hard how everyone feels they know what's best for me... I'm a mom my self of 4 and think I should have the right to choose. But may be to late. As his names not on my birth certificate the salvation army don't want to know. I'm lost as to what to do I have some good days then bad ones. It's not fair on my kids as they have never met their grand child, it makes matters worse that he is of Asian descent so haven't a clue where to look...
 
View best answer, chosen by zarreena
Wilso
 
  2  
Reply Tue 15 Sep, 2015 04:28 am
What country are you from?
zarreena
 
  0  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2015 08:16 am
@Wilso,
I am from the UK. The west midlands. Just seems everywhere I turn there's a closed door, I have medical problems also so would like to know if there are anyore surprises. It's just to get closure more than anything.
chai2
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2015 09:44 am
@zarreena,
And it's your mothers right not to discuss him if she doesn't want to.

Funny thing about rights. They go both ways.

As far as your kids and "it's not fair", here's a newsflash...life isn't.

You need closure? Make your own closure. One that doesn't include "it's my right, and it's not fair."

The best closure is moving on.
zarreena
 
  4  
Reply Thu 17 Sep, 2015 12:14 pm
@chai2,
Everyone's intitled to their opinion. And as for life not being fair you need a bit of empathy. If you got nothing to say of value don't reply. It's that simple.
chai2
 
  -2  
Reply Thu 17 Sep, 2015 05:16 pm
@zarreena,
Well zarreena, as you said, everyone is entitled to their opinon, including you.

That's regardless of the value I'm assigning what you say. See? It feels kind of weird when someone turns pearls of wisdom around on the speaker of them., doesn't it?

Empathy or no, life is not fair, and no one is in any position to tell me what I need. That's just something you think I should do. There're some things just jam packed with value for you to learn, if you choose.

If you don't choose, which I doubt you will....meh.

maxdancona
 
  3  
Reply Thu 17 Sep, 2015 05:56 pm
@chai2,
There is no reason to be so nasty Chai. Obviously Zarreena knows that she has to go on with life. That doesn't mean that a little sympathy wouldn't help.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Thu 17 Sep, 2015 05:58 pm
@zarreena,
I agree with you that your mom should tell you more about your dad. I don't know if there is anything you can do about it. I would probably be hurt and angry at my mother if I were in your situation.

I don't know what else you can do to find him. I just want to wish you luck in your search.
0 Replies
 
Wilso
  Selected Answer
 
  4  
Reply Sat 19 Sep, 2015 02:48 am
There are various adoption support agencies and registers. They vary from country to country. I suggest you look into them.
http://www.afteradoption.org.uk/

I'm an adoptee, who was lucky enough to get very open and honest parents. I haven't done any searching, but I know her name, and know where to go if I want to get information (and I was fortunate enough to have my natural brother adopted by the same parents - at our mother's request).
0 Replies
 
zarreena
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2015 06:01 am
Thanks for the posative words. Nice to know some decent folk out their x
chai2
 
  -2  
Reply Tue 22 Sep, 2015 02:48 pm
@zarreena,
You know, if you were a true decent person, you wouln't have felt the impulse to write that 2nd sentence. Just had to get your passive aggressive shot in there (btw, the word you wanted before x was there, not their), didn't you?

To waylay your next comment that "well you're not decent" ...Hell no, I'm not decent according to your definition. You know, the definition that doesn't include considering the reality of situations, and only wants the world to be filled with puppies and kittens and daddies that want to meet their little girls.

I also know how to spell.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

How do I find my birth father - Question by YARodriguez
I Think My Dad is a Famous Musician?? - Question by dottie4672
Help me find my father - Discussion by Amberlynnbrack98
Should I give my birth father a chance? - Discussion by Hanu 94
finding my dad - Question by neesiy
find my dad - Question by jamiebaby
going crazy - Discussion by steevo219
 
  1. Forums
  2. » 48 years late
Copyright © 2019 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 10/16/2019 at 05:57:57