Good Morning A2K!

I'm inclined to hear your story, but most of us have those.

You poor thing! (that may have been a quote from a Jackie Gleason).

You are very self involved, girl, but you need to look around.

There is a world out here.

You have a story, tell it. You may be right.

as in people have been telling you this? wow, maybe they take you as being weak. I myself advocate for speaking our minds regardless of how our testimony and our ideas are received. Once we stop being dumb we know that we are responsible for what we do, not for what other people do, and we know that we will be fine.

Do what you want. Stop letting others push you around I say.

Argh. You are so right about that! And I HATE it, but its all I can see sometimes... These pieces of this strange puzzle called my life... Just kinda falling into place... And suddenly making sense... To me... But will it to anyone else? I just dunno. Things I never saw before. Something no one knows is that until a few weeks prior to finding my way back here I had stopped talking almost completely... For about three years... Unless spoken to... Asked a question... Or was 10 sheets to the wind (most unpleasant I am sure)... Whatever...

I lost my voice... The voice I felt like I never had. I just gave up. Then... Shortly before finding my way back it came to me that if I truly wanted the healing I was looking for I would have to start talking... Again... Ack... and now sometimes I can't even seem to shut up. *sigh* There are so many fears I struggle with in sharing my story. My family is clueless to the life I have lived. Clueless.

I fear that sharing some things will ultimately hurt them. I so don't want to hurt anyone. They didn't mean to hurt me. I know that now. But somehow it unfolds into this strangely cool story, that somehow I survived... When perhaps a hundred times.over I shouldn't have. So what does it all mean? I have no clue... Lol But OK. Maybe If I just get it off my chest I will feel better. It would be even better if it helped someone else in the process. Anyone. My God, this can't all have been for nothing. So thank you osso, for always acknowledging me... Even in this rediculous self absorbed state I do unfortunately fall into. You are a gem my dear, and I honestly love you.

My biggest fear in sharing it is hurting others. Hurting those who love me, have hurt me, and didn't necessarily mean to. Or shaming them, making them look bad... I dunno. My brain has been a literal battlefield lately. But yes, you are right Hawkeye. Thank you. I'm just not used to being objective about my own life just yet I guess... Lol

I am currently writing a memoir, which looks like it will come in at about 50,000 words. It has been cathartic. One thing that I really like is that being in the remembering frame of mind day after day has allowed me to make connections that I never have before, and this is 30-50 years after the fact. I say give it a go, do it for you, because you might decide that the experience is worthwhile even if you never show it to anyone.

I am going to give mine to my wife and kids, other than that maybe no one reads it. And I would be fine with that. Hell, even my kids might not read it, but it will be available to them if they want to learn more about what makes me tick.

I am either lucky or unlucky that most of the characters in my story are dead now. But, I would not have said this before I started to write but I will say it now..... write anyways, write for you, and be as honest as you can manage. You can always take away later if you are afraid of hurting people, or you can limit the readership.

I saw a good quote on fb yesterday:

"I know people who feel like they have wasted years of their lives because of poor choices. They spent years in a relationship that was toxic, years with an addiction, years at a job where they weren't fulfilled. But you have to realize nothing you have been through is ever wasted. Your past experiences, good and bad have deposited something on the inside of you. Those challenges have sharpened you, to make you who you are today."

Good Morning A2K! I hope everyone has a great day today! This song seemed appropriate for the day... Lol

People routinely waste experience, refuse to learn and grow, but that is a choice. You dont have to do that. So many people when they suffer trauma curl up a die. The planet is teaming with walking dead people. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and learn how to turn the traumatic experience into food for the soul. So long as you do this by your last breath you win. I warn you though that this is long hard work. I only promise that it is worth doing.

I invite you to look into Alchemy or Spiritual Self Transformation . I consider myself very lucky to have discovered the Eastern and Western Mystics, who are usually shunned by the establishment but their wisdom is available.

I have said this before and I will keep saying it, the most alive and aware people I meet almost alway have been through torturous traumatic experience, though they dont usually advertise it. The best people are iron forged.

I agree.



There is still just some stuff in life that creeps me out. I've seen some pretty weird stuff along the way and still tend to shy away from some ideals, to be honest.



That is interesting, and not terribly surprising. Lol What's that saying... What doesn't kill ya, makes ya stronger.

Argh I give up. I can't get the youtube link to come up right and I'm tired. This is: 3 Doors Down - Let Me Be Myself

https://youtu.be/RmDYbiyMHvo

Goodnight A2K! Sweet dreams and peace to all.

Good Afternoon A2K! I hope ya'll have a great day.

Still having trouble figuring out my YouTube link issue... Will try again later!

[youtube]*[/youtube]

you have to make sure you don't grab the link that is straight youtube , not youtu.be

not sure why exactly, but it makes a difference

It used to give me the correct link when I googled the song youtube link. Now this is all it will give me:

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DRmDYbiyMHvo&ved=0CBoQtwIwAGoVChMIi4a9jpWxyAIVTYANCh0TrgpQ&usg=AFQjCNH120TyHz_AKYVU5tZx_uSYpORupA&sig2=KpD0rBapkUZ-tYNraJfGJQ

I followed the original link which took me to youtube

then I grabbed the link in the browser window

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmDYbiyMHvo

NOT the one in the youtube share window

https://youtu.be/RmDYbiyMHvo

the second link is formatted for websites that allow direct youtube linking

we don't have that

sooooooo you need the link from the browser window

@ehbeth
I figured out the problem. I can't do that on my phone anymore because I chose for it to always play videos through youtube... I am having difficulty undoing that! lol I can still do it on my laptop though!

Goodnight A2K! Sweet dreams and peace to all.

It's Thanksgiving weekend here now







so ... on the theme of thankfulness










http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/09/the-history-of-the-golden-girls-theme-song/405169/

The feeling is mutual.

Good afternoon A2K! I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

Good night A2K. Sweet dreams and peace to all... I had a wonderful song to share tonight... Yeah... Limited internet access.... According to other peoples rules.... Sucks. That's all I got to say about that. Thank God for 3g on my phone at least so I am not left with zero communication to the outside world. *sigh* See ya tomorrow hopefully.