Rabbit and Wolf (Yikes, first attempt at Children's lit)

Ah, interesting. I think the ending was a little hurried, but kids don't notice things like that. I like the twist. Kids have enough things to be afriad of, and wolves shouldn't be one of them. They've gotten such a bad rap.

Yeah, the ending was deliberately hurried. Kids don't have long attention spans.

Lol! Very nice!

But I may be prejudiced.....

Cav, I love it. Beats the hell out of that book called "Bunicula"...(I think that was it). Great way to challenge small minds, as well.

I liked it too; I found the story suitably cute and very interesting. You have shown that you could be the Ted Hughes for the children, as well as for adults. What age-range had you in mind when writing it?

Hmm...whatever age I was when I started reading Winnie the Pooh. I don't know, I was reading by age 3.

Good grief, Cav. Not all kids are as precocious as you. That may be a little difficult for the average three year old.

5-10 maybe? If read out loud to a child old enough to ask questions?

Right on, Cav. That's what kids love to do; ask questions. I don't remember when or how I learned to read.

I thought the story had a marvelous start but that the end should be extended somehow. Any kid capable of reading it is sure to have a longer attention span than that.

Hmmm, good thoughts (and SCoates too). I may rethink the ending.

Well, I thought that rather than change the ending, I'd just remove 'the end' and continue.

Wolf and Rabbit Contemplate

Wolf and rabbit sat beneath the setting sun
finshing the last of their supper,
peas and carrots, and mincemeat pie,
wolf's personal favourite delight.

Wolf looked up at the darkening sky
and asked "Have you ever thought
upon the night?
The moon will soon
obscure the sun,
casting black on everyone."

Rabbit chewed a carrot,
stroked her ear,
was it just her,
or did she just not hear
correctly.

"What are you on about, wolf?
Are you sure you didn't eat too much?"

Wolf sat back and took a pause.
"I like the night, and the moon,
the great pursuer,
huntress of a noble cause,
conquering light,
giving us time
to collect our thoughts
and meditate."

Rabbit got quizzical.

"So what of morning, wolf?
The sun pursues, retreats,
as does the moon.
Every morning, you yawn awake,
I make some oatmeal,
and you ask,
where's the spoon?"

Wolf thought on this.

"Rabbit, you are right.
The night and day are equal.
Let us put this pondering to rest,
and agree that contemplating
on a full stomach is best."

Uhoh....things have taken a dark turn....

I don't think so bunny. I'm sure many experiences, happy and dark shall emerge.

Rabbit and Wolf Go To Town

Rabbit and Wolf sat down to dine.
Wolf said "Ahh, such fine fare, once again."
Rabbit chewed her clover
with some disdain.

"Wolf, do you ever feel
our meals are just the same
thing again and again?"

Wolf said, "Rabbit, perhaps
we should lapse in our routine.
I hear that Animal City is plush
with all exotic foodstuffs,
including the elusive rambutan."

"Rambutans? What are those?"

"I'm not sure, but hop on my back
and we shall visit Animal City.
I must warn you, it's a place of pity,
not everyone indulges in it's treasures.
Some spend all on worthless leisure,
but we are on adventure here,
shall we go, my dear?"

"Yes, yes! Prance on!"

They marched through hill and dale,
wetlands, and the shaggy grass.
Animal City loomed on the horizon.

"It's so big..." rabbit thought.

They entered the city gates
and a mouse-like creature,
larger, with a tail as bald
as lake tempered rocks asks,
"Say, can you spare a carrot?"

Wolf growled, and the rat scurried.
"Don't worry Rabbit, you are safe with me."

Rabbit was amazed.
Wide eyed she drank in
cherries, raspberries,
sweet baby greens,
pomegranites, plums,
apples serene,
carrots of every colour,
orange, white and red,
beets so sweet, in candystripe,
melons plump and oh so ripe.
Still, the rambutan was indeed
elusive.

"Wolf, how will we know
when we've found a rambutan?"

"I suppose we'll just know
when we see it."

Wolf and rabbit wandered on,
through the streets and alleys.
Then, a ragged mare, cart in tow,
approaches.

"Let me make a show of my goods..."

She pulled the cover from her gifts,
exposing red-green fruit with shells and fronds.
"With fronds like these...try, try."

Rabbit said "They look like tiny hedgehogs!"

"Peel and eat, peel and eat..." the mare piped in.

Rabbit and wolf peeled and ate, and ate a lot.
In unison they said
"So good, divine, what are these,
and how can we make them mine?"

They looked at each other and murmered, "Ours, that is."

The mare smiled.
"These are the elusive rambutan you seek,
help yourself, there is no charge.
Just promise you will do me one favour,
in the future, should I ask."

"Absolutely," wolf said.

Rabbit and wolf
marched happily back to the hutch,
mucnhing rambutan like experts,
dizzy, and happy with their find.

Rabbit wondered, though,
what favour from the ragged mare's mind
might flow?

Added a bit to the ending of the first poem, finished the third poem in draft, presented here.

So the horse isw a member of the mafia and hes done a favor to the pair. Beware his favor inreturn. it needs some darkness in its telling.

Wolf and rabbit get stoned and are robbed by the rats who are working for that goddam horse. I knew I shouldna got involved , Im a witness now.

Cav - gratified to see you opening up to all the possibilities your characters conjur up.

I loved all three poems, Cav. Some children might be miffed at the second one, but I think that their contemplating it is good news. The characters, and your style of presenting them, have a unique charm. Perhaps, you could make a book of rabbit and wolf poems, illustrated.