THE CHANGING MORALES OF AMERICANS

Yes, neighborly, sensitive behavior exists in some place, but not all. It is interesting that you mention about stores. We have two large super markets in our little town, Publix and Winn Dixie. The diference in the behavior of the employees are so strikingly different that you would never think that these people all lived in the same area. In Winn Dixie the staff is surly, if not downright rude. The cashiers talk to one another, and ignore the customer, as if he/she was not there. Needless to say, after a few instances of this sort of behavior, I no longer patronize the store. They have lost a good customer.

Publix is another story. When you come in you are greeted. If you can't find something, an enployee will walk you through the store, and show you where the item is. At checkout, the person who bags the groceries will offer to take them to your car. And there is no tipping allowed.

Why the differences? I think that it has a lot to do with the management, and their expectations of employee behavior. I believe that if you set a high standard, people will rise to it.

I think that this same concept is applicable to people in all walks of life, be they children in school, teenagers at a dance, or adults at a meeting. If the leaders expect appropriate behavior, and model it themselves, it WILL be forthcoming!

I've noticed that as well. When I lived in Massachusetts it was hard to find a store where I could get friendly service with a smile, but since I've moved to Canada it's been the opposite in most everywhere I go. There are a few places I've run across where I wasn't happy with the attitude and I stay away from those places. I did notice that when I run into that attitude, it's usually a very young person in their teens. In most places in my area the people are surprisingly friendly and will go out of their way for you and always with a smile. Since I live in a small town, you get to know the people at the stores and end up spending a good 10 minutes in there just sharing some small talk. It truly is refreshing :-)

Hmmm, I guess you do adapt to your surroundings. I am not surrounded by over-friendly people in work or social environs and I have CHANGED. I used to be such a cheerful, yappy person who enjoyed a good chuckle with strangers on buses. Not anymore. I barely receive eye-contact from strangers on the train these days and I have to say ... I am surprised to find myself unwilling to even speak to a stranger on a train or even in the street these days. I want to have them committed or arrested for daring to speak to me and expecting a response! I have turned into one of these unfriendly people whose life is so fast that I don't have time to talk to telemarketers, let alone insult them or mess with their heads! I am too busy for those people who are handing out coco-pops at the train station, as I mumble under my breath "are they nuts? it's zero degrees and they are chipper?" The friendliest I have been recently was when I saw a guy dressed in a Pint of Guinness costume and I almost wrestled him to the ground trying to bribe him to give me the costume! Am I getting old and cranky? Or have I always had this personality trait and never noticed it before? When I first got to America I was surprised and pleased at how friendly some (not all) people seemed to be. I came from a city where people would knock you to the ground if you were in their way, but would laugh and pick you up and buy you a pint and sing about it half an hour later. When I got settled in America I found some of the American cheer false and then irritating and so began my decent into grumpiness. Then I found some friends who understood (and weren't offended) by my humor and I got to enjoying myself again. I have to say (and isn't is sad to think it) that I am the life and soul of my workplace! Yikes. How bad it must be if I am the entertainment around here! I have co-workers who will not even nod or say hello to me if they pass me by in the office, elevator, street. Is it written all over my forehead that I am a serial killer? Perhaps. I'll have to start using that rubbing alcohol for my head rather than the usual consumption with my morning coffee.

Heeven, thanks for the detailed post. The rest of you...it is alright to identify other behaviors.

People are truly different in different locations (with some exceptions). In Germany, the store owners are generally pleasant and helpful but don't offer much more. In England, the strore owners let you do your own business without interruption. And in France, store owners seem to try to find the quickest way to get you out of their shop.
As for America, the people changed as the country changed. When in widely spaced agricultural areas, people tend to be much more friendly and personal. In busy, cramped cities; people don't have enough time to say "hello" to everyone they pass. People love to be close to eachother when there are a good few to get close to, but when there are a lot of strangers we all like our privacy. The morals aren't changing, just the way of life.

Interesting details...