Trying to go silver/grey/white! Please help!

i have been trying to go grey or white or silver for months now! I started out with red hair...bright BRIGHT red hair. I was able to bleach it all out. It took two bleaching a to get my hair a uniform blonde color. It was a very pale yellow...think inside of a banana. I looked around and was told that using Wella Lightest ash blonde in the cool tone would give my hair a gray color. It was more of a dingy dishwater blonde. Then I was told a purple toner would help...nope still this awkward dingy color. That's rinsed out for the most part now it's a more natural looking ultra light blonde. I was told that dying it again with a high lift ash blonde will gray it out, then using manic panic virgin snow will get it the color I want. Any advice? Maybe some real life pictures? Anything will help! Thanks!