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Wed 14 Jul, 2004 06:48 pm
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Derrick, Welcome to A2K. Your poem was cryptically captivating. <smile>
Great diction! Care to explicate?
i have no idea what youre trying to say with this poem. i wish i could say i felt your emotion, but it seems dry. your connective words seem overly simple, while your descriptive words seem overly complex...it is an odd combination.
confussed but i like is it about love and growing on
It is literally the deity, in an 3rd person omipotent point of view, musing over his creation, the neo-adam and eve, while the rest of the world is hypostatized purely for them to save, or the world revolves around them. The Deity is in a tacit competition with his own universe, cogitating on how to top his greatest creation.
Derrick, what threw me was your opening explanation that the poem was written for, "your patrons".
Letty wrote:Derrick, what threw me was your opening explanation that the poem was written for, "your patrons".
The couple are acquaintences of mine, I attened the lycee with the one of them (male) And he chose to pursue more chrematistic pursuits and is somewhat of a croesus, I however chose the life of the scribe, and am not so wealthy, they frequently defray the cost--with Alacrity-- of some expenses I accrue.
Derrick, did you say cholangiocholecystocholedochectomy and if not why not?
Steve (as 41oo) wrote:Derrick, did you say cholangiocholecystocholedochectomy and if not why not?
why would this poem call for a surgical procedure? and that would throw the rhythm off, and is irrelevant to the work. I've never heard anyone who is an authentic cognoscenti of poetry, ever suggest why a word isn't in a poem. The poem stands as the author created it. Or on those rare occasions that they choose to revise a completed work.
Well I'm not a cognoscenti, in fact I'm from Cheshire originally, but you use a lot of big words Derrick, so I thought that one might fit.
i'm curious about your choice of capitalization; and why you find it important to drive the average reader screaming from the room

; it is difficult (but enlightening) to read a poem with a suitable (half the words are not in the Concise Oxford,

) dictionary (or set of dictionaries) in hand.
BoGoWo wrote:i'm curious about your choice of capitalization; and why you find it important to drive the average reader screaming from the room

; it is difficult (but enlightening) to read a poem with a suitable (half the words are not in the Concise Oxford,

) dictionary (or set of dictionaries) in hand.
Which words are not in there? I could help you out.
A lot of publishers require each line to be capitalised; this one went out a few weeks ago, with permission from my patrons.
I seek to connect with the reader, however "Average" is quite is an idiosyncratic adjective. But I try to reach everyone.