You misinterpreted that in a way that baffles an adult.
SO where is Heaven ? The orthodox answer could very well be something you wouldn't like either.
ANd this is from a gillion years ago
"Since it so was, that Christ should ascend bodilyand thereafter send the Holy Ghost bodily, then it was more seemly that it was upwards and from above than either downwards and from beneath, behind, or before, on one side or on other. But else than for this seemliness, Him needed never the more to have went upwards than downwards; I mean for nearness of the way. For heaven ghostly is as nigh down as up, and up as down: behind as before, before as behind, on one side as other. "