waiting and pacing

Ive been waiting for this for days
I know its not right to think things are so true
Only if I had the guts to stand up like I say I do

You made me but you don't claim me
You beat me and you break me
You deceived my mind once again
you act like theirs noting to it
so I don't fight back

if I told on stone cold fist
And these hard took hits
Now I'm hallucinating
They'll say I'm fascinating
No proof except for these self mutating
Bruises and bumps
I can tie a rope around my wrists while I kick at my head
And at my broken ribs and my bloody lip
And still be motivated to be afraid of my self

i cut open my mind and the pains awful and confusing
I cut open my mind
From your immortal fear
Only thing I can not stand
The words I can not bear
Dreading im not in control
When I bring the evil out
Will you keep me real

(its possed to be screamed well most of it thats why there is long parts and then short parts)