3
   

Can someone offer some clarity please?

 
 
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2015 10:33 pm
I recently wrote this woman, who's blog I sometimes visit and read and I need clarity.

I thought it was strange that this woman was open book about herself, and her personal life, but you never saw any photos of her family, then I saw an interview of her on youtube that she had done with a magazine, and she stated that her husband told her not to put any photos up of the family because he is a lawyer.

So I wrote her a comment for the first time in four or five years having been going to her blog, saying

Hey love your blog it now makes sense why you do not post pictures of your family, I completely understand your reasoning, great blog, I love that you are an open book, keep doing what you are doing. You helped me get through a lot, thank, you are a wonderful person.




She never responded. Then I wrote again, this time stating had I known she wouldn't respond I wouldn't have taken my time to write a paragraph and come out to her like that. She deleted both my comments, then proceeded to reply to other people who commented after me. I needed some clarity on this issue, because I am now upset.


I genuinely wrote her to say thank you and I understand your choices, now people are making em out to be a pedophile or stalker which I am not. Every fashion blogger puts pictures up of their family and loved ones, this was just an odd occurrence and I was curious. I got my answer through a video she made, and I was commending her. Nothing else. Why won't anyone side with me?


She makes a point on her blog and in the video to REPLY to everyone's comments inquiring about things, for example, she talks about her family in detail in the comments replying back to other users who ask. Why is my comment an issue????

I am crying because I was being genuine, I have been losing all my hair recently and she stated in the video that because she has issues with her hair as well, and is almost bald that if she can help anyone feel confident then she is happy and she has done her job, so I wanted to let her know how much she has helped me.

I am crying because I don't want to be called a stalker or pedophile, all bloggers put pictures up of their family, whether it is parents, siblings, spouses, kids, relatives.

It is natural to want to see the loved ones of a person whom you like their work, if it was not natural magazines would be out of business when it came to paying celebrities for pictures of their wedding, new borns, etc. The First family would not be posing on postcards. Its a natural thing, it is not about putting addresses or locations or phone numbers on the internet, you share pictures of what you eat, of you in the gym working out, of your closet in your home, it is only natural that people want to see a nice picture of your family.


I do not understand why something that simple could be taken so much out of context.


It hurts. It really does.
 
GorDie
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2015 10:55 pm
@rebellefleur,
ur goofy. I'd never ask to see a family unless I was hoping to get married.
Smile
it's all right..
I'm srry a "celebrity" cut you that bad.
roger
 
  4  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2015 11:14 pm
@rebellefleur,
I understand why the rejections to your innocent comments were so disappointing, but try to just pass it over. She doesn't know you and probably has reasons to be protective of her and her family. The fact is that she doesn't know either you, or your intentions. I don't know why some people are so public with their lives, either.

Don't comment on her blog again, as she will probably think she as acquired a stalker.
rebellefleur
 
  0  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2015 11:44 pm
@GorDie,
Oh my God she is a blogger, not a celebrity, please do not call me goofy at a moment like this, I am losing hair, and I am literally losing it. STOP
0 Replies
 
rebellefleur
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2015 11:51 pm
@roger,
And that's the hard part, if I write her again, which I sent her a message on Facebook telling her she really is not a good person because of how she is treating me, it will look like I am a stalker, but you say she has reasons to be protective with her family, she deleted my comments and answered other people's comments about her family. One user wrote very artistic on a picture of her kid's drawing and she went into detail to give information about her son's school, and how strict it is, and all kinds of unnecessary info, yet she could not acknowledge me or say hey I am glad I could help you?

Like what is she protecting? And then she posts pictures up of her kid and covers his face like celebrities do or what Michael jackson used to do, I just do not get it.

I have depression on top of this all, everyday I think about this, I want to see her face to face and tell her off. I have never had anything bad happen to em like this.


I do not want people to think I am crazy or a stalker, I just want to be heard and understand, more importantly I want an apology.
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2015 11:53 pm
@rebellefleur,
rebellefleur wrote:
I have depression on top of this all, everyday I think about this


have you spoken to a doctor about this?
rebellefleur
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 02:01 am
@ehBeth,
I have a therapist and psychiatrist, medication does not stop me from thinking about this, I just need someone the tell me that she is wrong for what she did. That is all I need to be happy. I don't see any error in what I did. I was thinking her for helping me. All my life I have been put down, when is someone going to be on my side?
rebellefleur
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 02:02 am
@rebellefleur,
Can someone just please tell me I am right and she is wrong.
roger
 
  2  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 02:07 am
@rebellefleur,
You've been hurt, and I wish you hadn't. Without seeing into her mind, I can't really say she is wrong - or right. I am sorry for your predicament, but try to put it behind you.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 02:23 am
@rebellefleur,
you've been posting on her blog a very long time. It's understandable you feel you know her well........Now you have to understand that she probably can't take a chance about showing her family pictures. Please respect this, I refuse to put pictures on Facebook, especially of my grandchildren. A smart programmer can use the photos to track down the actual location of the bloggers home. Women get special ugly treatment from dangerous people and she can't afford to take a chance.
I understand your curiosity and i also get that you feel you know her well, Unfortunately, cyber stalkers are all too smart. She may very well be having or had a ugly encounter with a follower. This doesn't mean you have terrible intents, she just got frightened. If it helps, she might have been frightened, even though you are harmless, but let her follow her lawyer and husbands advice.

Wait a few weeks and repost on the blog, but under no circumstance should you demand to see pictures of her family. Good luck, and respect her need to keep a portion of her life private.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 04:20 am
@rebellefleur,
You cannot expect everyone to do everything for you, the way you want them to. That's not the way that life works. I also blog. I don't put up pictures of my family, either, although I'm happy to talk about them until the cows come home. But why don't I post images of my family? Because, I dunno, I don't want to?

See, I have freedom to choose to do this, or not. So does this blogger. You do not know her significantly better than you know me, and this is (I suspect) the first time you are seeing me online. That's one thing about the online world. It can pull intimacy around and tighten up the time between meeting and feeling you really 'know' someone (hence cyber romances). But you don't know her.

Repeat that to yourself as a mantra.

You. Do. Not. Know. Her.

And she does not have to be a trained poodle, doing everything you ask, and catering to your every whim.

I'm sorry you're not well. But seriously, you need to go back to your therapist, talk about your depression and also about your need for external validation about this very tiny thing that you are fixating and obsessing over. Most people would shrug and think nothing of it. You are overreacting.

Go to your therapist and talk about this and, if you are on medication, maybe ask if your dosage or meds can be changed up. These kinds of medications do stop working or working well, unfortunately, and often people don't realize that until they're pretty far gone. Consider this a nudge to ask whether efficacy is wearing off. All the best to you.
rebellefleur
 
  0  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 07:41 am
@jespah,
Hi everyone can you all please read the post, because I thought I was clear, but it seems as though I am not, I do not care about pictures of her family, she helped me, inspired me, I wanted to thank her, and she replied to everyone else but me. I REPEAT, SHE INSPIRED ME, I THANKED HER BECAUSE SHE STATED THAT THIS WAS HER PRIMARY GOAL AND WOULD MAKE HER HAPPY, SO I WROTE HER TO SAY, SHE HAS HELPED SOMEONE, WHICH IS ME, AND I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND HER CHOICES. SHE DELETED MY COMMENTS AND PASSED THEM OVER TO REPLY TO OTHERS. Before you post, please read the entirety of what I wrote, I don't care about the pictures she post of her family.
0 Replies
 
rebellefleur
 
  0  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 07:43 am
@glitterbag,
Hi everyone can you all please read the post, because I thought I was clear, but it seems as though I am not, I do not care about pictures of her family, she helped me inspired me, I wanted to thank her, and she replied to everyone else but me. I REPEAT, SHE INSPIRED ME, I THANKED HER BECAUSE SHE STATED THAT THIS WAS HER PRIMARY GOAL AND WOULD MAKE HER HAPPY, SO I WROTE HER TO SAY, SHE HAS HELPED SOMEONE, WHICH IS ME, AND I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND HER CHOICES. SHE DELETED MY COMMENTS AND PASSED THEM OVER TO REPLY TO OTHERS. Before you post, please read the entirety of what I wrote, I don't care about the pictures she post of her family.
0 Replies
 
rebellefleur
 
  2  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 07:45 am
@glitterbag,
And this was my first time I had ever written a comment in 5 years since the blog started. No I have not been posting a very long time. I had been reading and looking at pictures, I never asked her anything, ever. I merely thanked her and applauded her choices.
0 Replies
 
rebellefleur
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 07:47 am
@roger,
I can't because there is no reason for someone to ignore me or delete my comments for thanking them, and applauding them for their choices, and telling them they inspire me. I know I am not the first to do that.
0 Replies
 
rebellefleur
 
  0  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 07:52 am
@rebellefleur,
UPDATE: THE MESSAGE WAS

HEY, GREAT BLOG, I THINK YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON, I APPRECIATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU, YOU ARE HONEST AND AN OPEN BOOK, THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE CONFIDENCE FOR DEALING WITH MY HAIR, AS IT HAS BEEN FALLING OUT IN CLUMPS, AND YOUR ADVICE HAS BEEN AN INSPIRATION TO ME. I UNDERSTAND YOUR CHOICES COMPLETELY, IT MAKES SENSE WHY YOU CANNOT POSTS PICTURES OF YOUR FAMILY. KEEP GOING STRONG WITH THE BLOG, IT IS AMAZING.

at this point in time, a simple I am glad I could help, or that is great to hear subscriber would have been suffice, but ignoring and then deleting is not good etiquette.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 08:28 am
@rebellefleur,
Fine, then happily go to your therapist, secure in the knowledge that this blogger is an asshole. And then talk about your depression and your obsession with this tiny thing.

If that is the external validation that you need, then here, you've got it! Enjoy it. Bask in the awesomeness of it.

And please see your therapist as I think you will feel better when you do.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 08:52 am
@rebellefleur,
The next time you see your therapist and/or psychiatrist show them this thread so they can see the effect of your illness.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 11:04 am
Did anyone else get a PM from this poster?
0 Replies
 
rebellefleur
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 11:15 am
@ehBeth,
you know what just forget it, the issue is getting bigger because no one here is just honestly saying that blogger is a jerk, you were being kind and she acted rude. you guys do not understand how simple it is to just say those things and how much power it has to make someone feel better. obviously none of you are good at advising people or making them feel better, I do not even know why you guys are on this advice blog? You all give bad advice. this is how bullying progresses, people just standby no one says anything even though they know what is being done is wrong. Guys please only give advice when someone asks about the color dress they want to wear, none of you are qualified to give good advice.
 

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