Sorrows Obstructed

This is a poem I wrote. Let me know what you think of it. Please do not copy it and use it as your own without my permission. It took me alot of work to make this.

Sorrows Obstructed~Gabrielle A. A.

I sit in the darkness.
Another failed attempt at death.
As the day comes to an end
I realize,
this was another failed attempt at life.
Living incomplete,
my battle wounds go deep.
my pride is more than wounded
today it was murdered.
My spirit was beaten.
I was abandon.
Today I realized
I don't need everyone to live
or maybe I don't need to live for everyone.
Why am I here?
Everyday is a struggle to find my place.
A battle that may never end.
A battle I will never win,
a battle that I'm sure will be my end.
Slowly I fade away.
As I realize saddness is here to stay.
I don't expect anything,
from anyone, anymore.
The only thing I know I'll get
is let down.
Where did I go wrong?
What make's me so bad?
Why am I not accepted by you?
My days don't get better,
they get longer,
darker,
and more painful.
As my soul crawls along,
searching for something
that I know I'm missing.
How I long to see the sun,
or even a star.
Just a brighter sign of hope.
Tears pour like a waterfall,
down my blank face.
I scream in my misery of deadened emotions.
I make a choice.
One that will be my last.
Never again will I have to face the future,
or remember the past.
I break the lock
to the gun safe
trying to see through my tears
trying to feel through the shaking of my body.
I take the revolver
and go to my room.
I avoid the questions swarming through my head
that scream,
"Life or death?"
I sit on my bed
and stare down the barrell.
As I'm about to pull the trigger
I head a familiar voice say,
"Pulling the trigger is easy,
living is what's hard."
I break down,
and cry,
and yell.
"All I wanted was friends!
You're God,
how could you let me down?"
"I was always here
and I always will be.
When you think you have no hope
all you have to do is
turn to me."
I drop the gun
and take a breathe
and run to the forgiver of all.
He takes me in with loving arms
and I am saddened,
haunted,
by my sins
no more.