A creature so foul
Oak gasped and was sick,
Was watching EastEnders
And nibbling a brick.
His hound ran away
His horse started to shake
But Sir Oak would not falter
He would vanquish the drake
He pulled out his sword
Played a tune on his harp
He went for the kill
His sword wasn't sharp!
With a roll and a leap
He dodged the first blow
But his horse was unlucky
And got eaten you know
Sir Oak then saw red,
And yelling with ire
He pissed on the dragon
And put out its fire.
(Eeeeeeeew!!! lol)
The fireless dragon
Let out a great roar
Which shook the earth round him
For a full mile and more
In vain did he roar,
As without fire he crumpled,
His bones were all cracking,
His skin sort of rumpled.
Sir Oak was a Hero!
With drake's hoard to raid
And rich grateful towns-folk
He knew he'd get paid
However his horse
Was dead, you'll recall,
So to get back to town, he
Had no means at all
A long walk it was
But he knew he'd return,
With that drakes hoard in hand
He'd have money to burn!
So deep was the gold
So heavy to boot,
He dug and he rested
And sampled some fruit.
The treasure now buried
He went on his way
He'd glory to garner
He'd be famous one day
On the outskirts of town
He met with a man,
Who was not very tall
And answered to 'Dan'
Dan was an oddball
A cooky old trout
With a hunchback and warts
And a great gleaming snout
His friends called him 'Piggy'
But Oak was no friend;
He slunk past in the bushes
And reached Ponders End.
Oh! How reduced was our lord
From castles and splendour
To slinking in bushes
Like some poor common peddlar
But lucky for him
He avoided dread Dan,
And walked into town
To the pub, 'The Green Man'.
There he'd meet with the wizard
the same one who wrote,
to send him out fighting,
A brief summons note
He ordered a vodka
Without any ice
And looked at the barmaid,
For she was quite nice.
)