IronLionZion wrote:dlowan wrote:IronLionZion wrote:Craven de Kere wrote:dròm_et_rêve wrote:Should the teacher be treated thus, if the liaisons were consensual, do you think?
Yes.
Would you feel differently if it were a 14 year old girl and a male teacher?
I'd argue there is a difference.
I would like to hear you make a reasonable case, ILZ.
I think there is clearly a biological difference in that the male is likely to be the pursuer, and as such, the psychological ramifications of banging a female teacher are unlikely to be negative, as opposed to, say, a female student being molested by a male teacher.
The law, however, should make no distinction.
Well, I am glad you say the law should make no distinction.
However, calling one "banging" - (because of what I believe is an underlying assumption that - as well as being more sexually aggressive - the male in a sexual encounter has somehow achieved something - like a "score"?) - while the other is "molesting" - (which I THINK represents some sort of assumption that the female is scored against??? - I am really interested in hearing your response to this, as it seems - as far as I can see - to underlie many assumptions about female to male sexual abuse not being as serious as male to male or male to female) seems to me to be but, as Craven would say, a logomachy.
Adolescents of BOTH sexes tend to glory in, and experiment with, their new found sexuality. Young girls tend to strut and preen and send out very sexual signals, just as boys do, in their own way.
BOTH genders ought to be able to experiment and test out their sexuality SAFELY with adults - especially with adults with a care-taking obligation to them.
I do not think that being more overtly sexually aggressive (which in this case the boy was not) protects boys from the confusion and and damaged boundaries of inappropriate sexual contact.
Yes, I know that the accepted boundaries change from culture to culture. This is OUR culture - and I would argue that many of the cultures which accept sex with (usually, as far as I know - but I am happy to be corrected) girl children as culturally ok, in fact inflict much damage on the children in question.
PS I also find myself wondering if it is harder for you fellas to see a boy as being damaged by being molested by a woman because it is .... I don't quite know how to say it... it insults your self-image, or something, to think of a male as being sexually preyed upon by a woman?
I mean, I know it is easy enough for you men to entertain the idea of, and enthusiastically condemn, a woman using her sexuality to manipulate a male - but preying upon...? Is that a blow to male self-image?
I am not trying to be horrible here - and I hardly dare say it - but I am genuinely interested.
I know from working with men who were molested as kids that, for many, (at least of the ones I have worked with), a significant part of the trauma has been about feeling that they have been made less male - that it is like being made like a woman, who are traditionally seen as the "normal" victims of sexual abuse and assault (hard for them to say to me, for obvious reasons - but there it was, lurking in the depths) - and that, for the very few - so far - I have worked with who were molested by women - it was particularly difficult for them to sort out exactly what the realities of the situation were - (unless they were extremely young at the time) whether it was abuse or not, because boys are supposed to be chasing sex, all the time - aren't they?
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