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Friday morning poetry on the way to work

 
 
mithie
 
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2004 07:28 am
Remember guys and gals who commute to work, having a pen and pad next to you in the event of a traffic jam greatly helps reduce the impulse to brutally murder the bloke blocking traffic because his 18 wheeler broke down sideways on the road.

Romantic Figurine

Once I had a music box for which I kept
Candy and love notes except
It wasn't a music box at all but
The home of my lover
Its corners were neatly cut
Had a face on the cover
A picture of my lover

Down beneath my cold black stare
Where starlight never shines
And moonlight doesn't care
Two silvery black lines
Run between the eyes of my lover
The face was on the cover
The picture of my lover

I trace the lines beneath the eyes
And let out a flurry of haunted sighs
For I felt not the face but a thin
Veil of white ice on the skin
That shackled my fingers to the face
An age-torn face that was
The picture of my lover

As my lover stared back with intense fervor
I suddenly realized in terror
The picture was not a picture but a mirror
The cold unforgiving veil upon the face
And the two silver lines that I traced
Was mine as much as was the face's on
The picture of my lover.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 609 • Replies: 4
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InTraNsiTiOn
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2004 11:28 am
Interesting, I liked the flow of the whole thing. Very good!
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InTraNsiTiOn
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2004 11:31 am
Ohh and Welcome to a2k. Hope you'll post more original writing here!
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mithie
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2004 01:48 pm
I try to write a poem on the way to work every other day, then polish/edit what I wrote the next.
0 Replies
 
stuh505
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2004 07:42 pm
mithie, i often get poetic inspiration i nthe car also

these two lines are really nice:

For I felt not the face but a thin
Veil of white ice on the skin
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