WHAT symbols emotional maturity

You have control over your emotions, and don't act out in negative ways.

I would say Jean Luc Picard. That is an emotionally mature character.

I think what c. i. said is right. I still like the old classical analogy of the horses pulling the chariot (the emotions) and the charioteer (the reason). The chariot can't move without the power of the horses, but the horses are disciplined by the charioteer. An emotionally mature person has his emotions, can observe and acknowledge them consciously, and can decide (through reason) how to express and channel them. You may choose to act them out in negative ways but it is awareness of your choices that makes for maturity.

IMO, a mature person:

Keeps things in perspective. Does not become unduly upset when things don't go his way. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade".

Makes decisions that reflect consideration for the long run. Is not prone to "instant gratification".

Understands and accepts himself as he is, warts and all. Works to correct personal deficiencies, when he believes it is appropriate.

Is self motivated, and not prone to "follow the crowd".

Understands and accepts his responsibilities. Knows the difference between what are his responsibilities, and what aren't. Accepts responsibility for what happens in his life, and does not shift the blame to others.

Finds joy in whatever stage of life his is in presently.

Does not accept blame for things that are not his fault. Is adept at dealing with manipulative individuals.

Understands the role of emotions in human life, but does not mistake emotions for reason. Uses rational thought as his guide in life.

Good list of traits, Phoenix. Shows that I've been evolving in the wrong direction. Oh well.
I think we can add being in touch with one's feelings. That doesn't mean that we act on all of them, but we know they are there. They ARE us, so to be out of touch with them is to be in a sense fragmented. By the way, I am thinking about the building blocks of emotion. Feelings are the actual viseral sensations, like a burning in the nose when one is angry, or butterflies in the torso when one is afraid, etc. Emotions are categores of feelings or constellations of feelings, and they are culturally constituted, as is their status (e.g., is anger honored or depreciated?) and defined. The British, for example, tend to keep certain sentiments, like sadness, to themselves because that is a sign of personal integration. By contrast, Latin Americans tend to wear their sadness on their sleeves. Gross exaggerations, but you know what I mean.
Another important sign of emotional maturity is the ability to relate to others empathically, to see oneself in others and others in oneself. That should provoke some response.

growing up, observing, learning and being.

Taking responsibility for our own mistakes is a biggie in my books. ** Cheney does not have emotional maturity, and he's our VP. Sad, huh?

The mature person is one,who's learned to cope with the realities of life.

Cicerone Imposter and Miller, great contributions.

does this mean an idealistic person would neve be an emotionally mature one?

LOL Neoquixote! I think you may have hit the nail on the head!

Oh, by the way JLNobody, I wouldn't agree that one requires emotional maturity to possess empathy. Take for exmaple a child who still cries when it misplaces a cherished toy, yet becomes greatly upset over the tormenting of an animal. Of course lacking perspective but still empathic.

NeoQuixote, are you suggesting that idealism entails a lack of realism? I don't see them to be mutually exclusive.
Fortune, I see a difference between the infant's empathy you describe and an adult who has developed (or retained) an ability and propensity to take the stance of others. Selfishness is narcissistic immaturity, if you ask me.

Depends really. Is empathy a learned behaviour or a developmental stage? Maybe a bit of both?

Hmm, as for selfishness being narcissistic imaturity, well yeah in a sense. I mean kids are selfish when they're small, it's a survival instinct. Teenagers are selfish, they have to be while they work out who they are and who they're going to be, it requires a lot of time thinking about yourself. Hence selfishness in immaturity. But does this mean that these people are incapable of empathy?

I don't know, maybe your right and I'm just talking through my hat. Just trying to figure out what it was in your statement that bugged me.... Maybe it's just that I would not like to think that older generations would consider young people incapable of thinking beyond themselves.

fortune, I'm 69 today, and I can tell you that I've seen more emotional maturity in some kids than I have in the adult population. We're reminded of many children's maturity by the media almost every day. They lift the heart in an otherwise dismal war in Iraq where killing and dying was instigated by this administration for reasons that have been buried in infamy.

Thank you c.i. and a big Happy Birthday!

Heh, as for the original question? Yeah, well, as soon as I actually attain emotion maturity I'll tell you what it is!

Not to practice oneupmanship, C.I., but last Sunday was my 70th birthday. Fortune. I did not mean to suggest that maturity is a simple function of age. We know too many immature elders to think otherwise. And we do see children that have made great strides toward maturity. But time IS a factor insofar as it takes time to undergo growing experiences. So I guess I would contend that among adults we see more maturity than among children, and among older adults we see more maturity than among younger adults. But this is only a statistical picture.
Empathy, the capacity to see others as forms of yourself while still uniquely themselves, is the result of experiences that occur through time. But I'm not too confident that this involves "stages" or "lessons learned"

The San Jose Merc has a weekly editorial section for teenagers, and I read every one of them. It's always a pleasure to see how many youngsters are so advanced in their thinking about social, national and world events.

In my opinion one attains emotional maturity when
one becomes emotionally intelligent. One's social interaction is recognized as being fundamental to
his own happiness and contentment, and his awareness of the varieties of opinions and belief
systems that are out there make it essential to "give and take " in any relationship.
Having said that, it is very sad to realize that , as cicerone imposter pointed out with regards to Cheney , that many of the people in position of power in our world to-day lack this important emotional intelligence, and as a result
the human conflicts will continue until this most
enviable maturity is attained .....if ever.

A book called The Alchemist by Pablo Cohelo has what i think is the best desctiption of emotional maturity. There is a young man and his new-fuound mentor the alchemist riding through the sandy desert. They travel towards egypt following a drem. The alchemist tells the young man to listen to his heart. And he does. For 2 days they travel in silence. Then the young man spoke: "my heart is restless. It tells me of fears and anxiety. It longs for Fatima (his new girlfriend that he left behind). It betrayes me, for after i followed it half way across the world, it tells me that it doen't want to follow the dream anymore: it wants to go back."

The alchemist responds: " This is good. You are feeling. It means that your heart is alive. Know your heart so that it can not betray you, for betrayall is an attack that you don't expect."

This, I think is emotional maturity: knowing yourself and your heart. It is not being ruled by reason or 'in control' of yourself. 'Don't let the reason take what bellongs to the heart, for only the heart can give us joy and happiness in life.'

My two cents
-Ghendo